NOTE: yesterday's pic will appear at the weekend - it's a raw file and I can't convert it on my PC so I need to wait for DM to do it for me.

We’re on our way home, however briefly for me. I get to spend a whole eight hours or so in my own home before heading east again to work. I have to work out my ‘notice’ until Christmas so will be spending a good deal of time away from home still, but at least it’ll be on ‘terra firma’ in Blighty.

For today, we undergo the journey from Madrid to Cornwall – an epic that features multiple forms of transport – taxi at both ends, plane, coach and train. Phew – what a rock and roll lifestyle we lead.

I’m still leaking like a leaky bucket – great fat globs of tear rolling from my eyes at all-too-frequent intervals with no apparent cause other than a weariness that I can’t describe. During the night, DM and I were awake and I was trying to explain how I felt as though someone had turned on a tap on my big toe and my whole being had drained out sometime in the last few days, leaving nothing but a great, gaping chasm.

My world is still in chaos and I desperately need a period of consolidation before we start the next phase of the ‘grand plan’. Fortunately for me, this man that I love, is going to make much of the organisation of the mundane but important happen while I am in Epsom. I am so grateful for that I find it difficult to articulate.

Things have been tough but we near the apex of this struggle and soon, soon, we will find ourselves able to lift our feet from our pedals and glide gently along without so much effort. Hurry up and let that time begin……

Two years ago, I was lamenting the waste of office blocks that are never occupied and last year, I was a bit chuffed to be described as cool by one of my team!