I am such a complete fool. I've been away from home for weeks and weeks and today is the first night I can be at home and spend an evening with my precious people, David, Rosie and Archie. And guess what? I blew it!

I've been able to get into the office today for the first time in a very long time. My colleagues looked at me as though I was a stranger and I had a pile of emails a mile high (speaking in a cyber metaphor of course) as well as needing to start preparing for my client presentations next week that follow the frantic fieldwork that's been sucking up all my time strength and energy for weeks.

It is the Christmas party tonight but I have decided to go home and spend the evening in front of the fire with David and the dogs rather than roll in drunk at 1am or 2am. David's job is a solitary one - he works at home most of the time and so rarely speaks to anyone when I'm not at home. I always feel so guilty about that when I'm away so today is my way of making it up to him.

The boys in the team said to me 'why don't you come to the pub for a quick drink before getting on your train?'. I thought 'that's not a bad idea, then I won't be seen as a complete misery for missing the party and I won't upset David either'. At 7.15pm when David was sitting at the station waiting for me, I was phoning our answering machine apologising for still being in the pub!

I got home at 9pm, having redeemed myself a little by phoning for a pizza enroute, to a frosty David (and rightly so, I completely let him down). Our cosy night in completely destroyed. How stupid am I? Completely and utterly! How much did I fail the one person who deserves not to be let down by me? Completely and utterly! Why did I do it? Because I was tired and I let down my guard too early.

I'm sorry David! (Both for letting you down and for the shockingly poor quality of this photo!!)