Now, I'm not suggesting that this is the current state of Melbourne's trains, oh me oh my no. Victorians themselves (who, as far as I can tell, hate Connex (the company which runs the trains) with a passion) may suggest this, but I wouldn't.

But I will say this.

On the trains of my own home town Emerald City, you don't have to manually open the doors. The doors open automatically when the train stops at a station.

Now I grant you that on MOST of the doors of Bleak City trains, the advice that you need to do that is clearly marked. Just not on the door that was in front of me when the first train stopped at Jolimont / MCG station (image 3539).

And since no-one else got on or off at that stop, I couldn't see THEM having to open the doors either. Accordingly the train stopped, I waited for the doors to open, they didn't, the train pulled out, I saw the notice on the NEXT door as the train picked up speed and slid past me, I muttered under my breath, and waited for the next train to come along.

In the circumstances, perhaps the train illustrated here may have worked out better for me, had it been the one to arrive.

This image is part of a large mural at the back of the Direct Factory Outlets building on Spencer Street. It commemorates land transport of various kinds in Victoria over the last couple of hundred years, from feet to cars, from horses to trams to trains.