Between the clap of towering hands before the final hour scurried a fidgetting mouse.Squeezed sour until its shadow could not squeak.And its little legs would tremble like autumn leaves blown down a forgotten alley.Wiggling along the crease of a maze.A crack in the broken nocturnal mirror.Reflecting emptiness upon itself.
Guest
10-Feb-2006 02:37
this is lovely.
I am jealous... I want to explore your city with my "vision".... the result would be intense..... quite something to behold.
The shadow is wonderful, Kal -- like something out the Orson Welles film, The Third Man. We know it is a person there, too -- but he or she is still swallowed up by the nigh and vanishes from the waist up.
It is too bad that you were not able to catch him or her earlier when the entire body was visible against the street.
Not sure if it is better, what do you think? Should I have caught him even earlier? I think the man's position is better in the first version, and the body is still obscured, though here there is more shape to him, and I definitely get the whole shadow, something missing in the first version. Let me know your views. I could probably get more of an outline with the original with some slight post-processing (increase in contrast), if you feel that that one is better. Thanks for the advice.
