(Reported to police): "Well, officer, it was the weirdest thing. A spaceship landed in the field and this huge alien stepped out of it, holding a weed whacker in his three hands. When he turned on the whacker, the whacking cord hit the barn, making that scar on the wood. Something scared him and he got back in his ship and took off. I swear that's what happened. I wonder why his tool had a cord rather than a laser or something..."