'If I lived back in the wild west days,
instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster,
I'd carry a soldering iron. That way,
if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like
"Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!"
and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing,
I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron.
The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would
get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun
of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably
hit them up for a free drink.'
--Jack Handy