The number one problem facing Mankind is determining how to proceed with eating ice cream out of the carton when one reaches the "point of no return" (the point at which your hand gets messy from contact with the inside of the carton).

Because the topic is so sensitive it is no surprise that people shy away from discussing it, which explains why no presidential candidate---not even The Donald---has brought it up. So let me say this about that.

In the interest of world peace, racial harmony, ecological balance, full employment, and a return to manual pinspotting in bowling alleys, I offer this information to the world: if you want to avoid getting your hands messy when eating ice cream out of the carton, cut the carton open!

The photo above shows this idea in practice. It works equally well no matter what flavor of ice cream is being consumed or which brand of ice cream is involved.

I am waiting patiently for the presidential debate in which this subject is given the exposure it deserves.