David has this theory about our new home. It goes like this. The house comes up for sale and it has a lot of land. Shark buys the house expecting to sell the land to a property developer for putting a holiday village on the land. Shark fails to get planning permission so does a quick bodge job to make the place look tidy before selling on.

Shark 2 comes along. Buys property, not really caring about the fact that the house is a fright because there’s lots of land so the proceeds from building holiday lets on the land will pay to have the house done up before selling up after making a million quid. Planning permission isn’t granted so shark 2 loses interest and does nothing for a few years then sells to shark 3……I’m sure you get the picture.

One thing is certain, we have the papers for the house and going back to the 1950s there has been a planning application for some sort of holiday development on our field every ten years or so. Guess what? They’ve always been turned down!

This bathroom is fairly typical of the bodging…..bath: takes half an hour to fill…..that’s if you can wring enough hot water from the tiny tank. Shower: doesn’t work at all. Toilet: leaks water every time you flush….oh and the flush has been fixed by us because when we moved in the flush mechanism was broken so you had to stick your hand inside to flush. Fortunately leak is clean water. Carpet: rust stains from leaking radiator, rank smell from water leaking from radiator and toilet. Sink: actually functions OK since my Dad spent a day crawling around in the cupboard underneath it mending the ancient lead pipe that’s its waste. Prior to that it emptied into a bucket much to our despair. Window: new – old one had broken panes and a broken double glazing seal….as well as rotten timber.

Add to this delightful recipe, the sand textured paint on the walls, bodged plumbing, the nasty ‘ bare bottoms allowed’ plaque on the door and a surfeit of beige then you have our bathroom.

Good bit? Well, on the plus side, at least the bath’s white….(ish) – in fact, its enamel is so knackered that the bath is actually sludge green where I have been washing henna from my hair and it’s stained the bath!!!

Better bit? As from today, work is in progress to deliver us a beautiful new room that is fully functioning and sanitary in every sense.

For aficionados of film, note the drying rack on top of the cistern, which is in regular use these days as DM gets more weird all the time about his pinhole, film in general and his new darkroom!

Last year's shot was a particularly nice one (for me) and I seem to remember feeling miserable that it had been more-or-less ignored!