Take a word of advice from me……measure things carefully – especially when you’re under pressure.

I’ve been incredibly stupid and not kept my eye on the ball of late. My inability to do this is now causing me stress. You see (and it is a weak, pathetic excuse), we have been trying to push our ‘grand plan’ through and I’ve been so busy dashing back and forth to London, trying to do a semi-decent job of my job (and failing at that too), and so busy trying to hold my emotional well-being together, when all I’ve really wanted to do is sit in a corner and cry, that I took my eye off an important ball.

Now that ball has crashed to the ground and I’m fretting and worrying about it. I should have been concentrating on the 2, not the 1, keeping in focus the next step. I didn’t do that and I’ve messed up.

Not that it’s all bad – one of my biggest fears over the recent weeks has been losing DM because I’ve been so miserable and so stressed. I’ve been shouting and he’s been shouting back. I’ve been crying and he’s been losing patience. This weekend has at least shown me some clarity in my love life. I now know that I’m loved and I now know that I’ve not lost this precious thing I value above all else. So at least I go into my penultimate week away, safe in the knowledge that I will come home to him. Phew.

So, I’ve spotted my mistake, can I find a way to address the problem without more pain? Not entirely but I think we can find a solution that won’t cripple us again. The next few weeks are crucially important – I know I can’t hide from things and I know I can’t magic away the waiting which seems interminable.

Strangely this photo is very comforting – it reminds me of that lovely childhood song – Inchworm – do you know that one? It’s an odd premise for a song really but how I loved it when I was a kid – again I long to be back in a time when someone else looked after me and I didn’t have to worry about anything.

Two years ago, I was on Hope Station, where I find myself metaphorically today - let's hope I'm about to get on the train to my dreams.....last year, I was capturing glorious things.