I know I’m a bona fide scientist now and I am very proud of that fact but I’m also aware that there is so much science that I’ve got no clue about whatsoever. This is one of those things. It’s one of those fibre optic lights that were so popular in the 1980s but revamped for the tenties. I still can’t get my dunce-like, poor, addled brain around the way the light travels along the fibres without being visible then it pops out of the end with all the exuberance of a champagne cork popping out of a bottle.

We are in what seems to be the hen party capital of the UK for a couple of days. There are dozens of parties of women, many in fancy dress, others in ‘fancy’ dress and some with downright ludicrous dress. As we sit in a rather nice individual Italian restaurant watching the world go by we spot them coming in waves of jollity and bon viveur, many clutching enormous inflatable willies. Occasionally a stag party comes past. They seem rather muted in contrast, frequently with only the stag himself in full regalia. I'm sure there is some science behind the behaviour differences of hens and stags but that too is beyond me.

Yes, folks, DM and I have snuck away for a weekend to rediscover some of David’s youth. We are in another country – well, technically it’s not a sovereign state but as we are in Welsh Wales we are happy to believe we’ve crossed a border. Our big adventure begins!