On Saturday, I sat for four hours making false dreadlocks for my Girl George outfit out of black wool that I plaited and tied up with red ribbon. It was dull and extremely uncomfortable but the task was made less dull by spending the time in front of the telly and my favourite Saturday afternoon show – Soccer Saturday. It was made all the better by the fact that we had a 3pm kick off and so our game was actually covered on the show for once, and of course, we won. I hate the fact that Europa League usually consigns us to Sunday footie.

Anyway, I was tidying up earlier and asked DM whether it was worth keeping them or not – he replied “the next time we go to a fancy dress party I can wear them on my Jack Sparrow outfit.” I dutifully put them in a bag and, just after this photo was taken, they went into a drawer for such an event.

Now to be honest, I rather like the idea of DM in Jack Sparrow regalia BUT I’m going to have to wait a long time I reckon – in the 14 years of our relationship this was only the second ever fancy dress party we’ve ever been to and the last one was in the first couple of years. On that basis, the next one will be in about 2024. Hmmmm…