Even though it might sound frivolous, it’s a hard and fundamental topic, because it involves so many feelings, reactions and misunderstandings.
Let’s face the question! Making gift is a taught job, but at the same time it can be extremely enjoyable and gratifying.
Since I have a little, but unlimited power on this virtual note book, I think I’m going to dedicate at least two pages to this involved theme.
There is not any miracle recipe to master perfectly the art of gift, but there are guidelines which can help us.
First of all one should never consider choosing a gift as a social obligation.
If you think: “I must buy a present for my colleague, for aunt Heidi, for anyone...” if unconsciously you have put at the beginning of your thought the word “Must”, then be so brave to give up, dare to not be trapped in the spiral and run the risk to be pointed as the bad guy, but don’t buy any gift.
With a little chance, free from the compelling obligation, one day you would stumble casually upon a little item perfect for aunt Heidi and you’ll have the pleasure to surprise here. Then if you don’t care for aunt Heidi, which is an unpleasant elderly lady, bad tempered and in her dotage, who tormented you when you were a child, then why in the world should you offer her a present?
So here is the first little rule:
Make presents only to people you really care for and get rid of formal obligation.
The second rule (they are listed in casual order, not according to their importance) is:
When you choose a gift for someone, try to put yourself in their mind and don’t chose what you like, but what they like, even though you deeply dislike that.
You have not to please yourself; the pleasure will be to see the genuine joy of the person who gets the gift.
My wise friend Sergey, who is professor of English in remote Siberia, doesn’t like coffee (nobody is perfect), but he loves fruit juices and very rarely drinks alcoholic beverages (nevertheless I assure you he’s deeply Russian!).
His students, at the end of a cycle of lessons, since they are always very grateful to him, feels like offering him a little gift.
“What might offer you to show our gratitude, Sergey Nikolayevich?” they ask him.
“I don’t need anything, but if you insist, I’d be glad to get some bottles of exotic fruit juice”
“Oh, Sergey Nikolayevich, this is such a cheap present, what people would think if we offered our good professor some banal bottlers of fruit juice!
Not at all!
We want to honour you as you deserve! Since you appreciate drinks, we’ll offer you a bottle of Great French Cognac and some packet of refined coffee...”
What is the final result of this sincere and kind intention?
That Sergey has to buy his own fruit juices and must give away the coffee and the cognac, which are not at his taste.
His students love Sergey, but they don’t think to the person whom the present is destined to, they see the present as a status symbol, and they are sincere in their good feeling, they want to offer something expensive, as if it could be necessarily the best present for anyone.
Here we see as the lack of knowledge of the basis of the art of gift drags to an unexpectedly negative result.
Next time, if anyone will be so kind to keep on following me on this uncertain path, we’ll analyse the other rules.