I know, it’s getting more difficult...nevertheless another rule should be to never offer a gift when it’s expected in a specific circumstances, as a ritual.
The wonderful, refreshing surprise of a totally unexpected gift has positives sides for both the donor and the receiver.
For the receiver it has much more sentimental and emotional value, because the gesture has not any conditioning nuance, it’s just spontaneous and motivated only by sincere deep feeling and the pleasure to share them.
For the donor is a total joy as well, because there is not any compelling urge to respect a date or to remember to do the same in every similar circumstance.
So it’s a natural fulfilment of a sudden, but deep burst of loving complicity for a dear one.
How “bureaucratic” and melancholy stereotyped look all those heaps of roses, which are sold on the depressing Valentine’s Day...
How bright and shining is a bouquet of wild flower or also an enormous basket full of precious orchids offered without any apparent reason (there is always a reason) in a common day!
I knew a couple; they had been married for over 20 years. Every year on Valentine’s Day he asked his secretary to send his wife 40 red roses.
She complained with me:
“I hate red roses, I love wild flower, I love tulips...”
Once the secretary forgot to send the roses to his boss’ wife.
The wife complained.
“He didn’t buy me any rose for Valentine’s day this year...”
Another perversion to avoid carefully is to recycle presents of bad tastes we have received.
“This electric table set to candy fruit received by Harold and Harriet is abominable!!! Let’s pack it again, it will be perfect for Aunt Dorothy”...
If there is a little of justice in this world, the electric table set to candy fruit will peregrinate a long time, always recycled and one day will come back to Aunt Dorothy, who will recognize it and won’t speak to you for the rest of her life (not sure it might be considered a punishment...).
Just to come to a necessary and welcome conclusion, as Kahlil Gibran said
“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.”
And a philosopher wrote that we should give as we would receive,
cheerfully, quickly, and without hesitation;
for there is no grace in a benefit that sticks to the fingers.
After all, yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery.
And today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present