I sat and made this red satin heart while waiting for an outpatient’s appointment at the hospital where I had my little op two years ago. It was basically thrown together in a few minutes, stuffed with chopped up old pairs of tights and since then has provided me with many happy hours of entertainment as I’ve photographed it in all sorts of ways in my photo a day. Even the great Jeannius did a shot with it in, which I was more than a bit honoured about.

Anyway, I’ve decided it’s nearing the end of its life because I’ve just about milked it dry and so I had no compunction in slitting open its back and shoving a flash gun on a slave inside it for this shot. I had a bit of jiggerypokery to do because I couldn’t get the flash to shoot without exposing the sensor….I’d hoped there would be enough light seeping through the fabric to get the shot but alas it was not to be. So, I resorted to photoshop to get rid of the evidence.

The point of the shot is to talk about the third in my ‘best loved films’ series, ET – this is supposed to represent the moment in the tent near the end when Elliott says goodbye to ET, in floods of tears – I think he says something like ‘I love you ET’ and ET’s body, frozen on ice, starts to live again and you see his heart glowing and beating. Boy is that a wonderful film moment – I still can’t watch it without sobbing, even now, twenty-odd years after the film came out.

The funny thing is, I was doing my best belligerent, stubborn old bag routine and refusing point-blank to go to the cinema to see it. My sis and Shazbop spent ages trying to coax me along but I’d made up my mind the film would be completely crap because it had been hyped so much. So I dug my toes in and said no. I felt really ‘cheated’ when Shazbop had got four (free) tickets to see it on a night when we were going to a gig later in the evening. I’d effectively been ‘forced’ into going if I didn’t want the rest of my evening spoiled.

I took my Sony Walkman (well, Sanyo actually because I could get a nice shiny red Sanyo and the Sonys were all dull colours) and a book and was determined that I’d hate it so much that I’d be stuck into my book in no time.

In the event I had to eat my words. I was completely transfixed and loved the film so much it remains one of my all-time faves today, which is why I’ve done this tonight.

That night, I ended up making a total prat of myself in the cinema because I was so engrossed that when the scene with Elliott telling ET he loved him came on, I was digging my fingernails into the palms of my hands in a futile attempt to stop myself from crying. It was a pointless exercise in masochism though as I found I couldn’t hold it in any longer and burst into huge, noisy, snotty, violent sobs – I’d held it all in for so long, I just fell apart completely….to the obvious amusement of Jan, Shazzer and Julie, Jan’s friend who had the final of the four freebie tickets. Well, in fact to the amusement of the entire cinema who erupted into a great seething, giggling mass as one!!!

Even with that history, I love ET. It’s a complete corker!

last year I was desperate for help from pbasers