Found on the western side of Martin Down
nature reserve, in Vernditch Chase.

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Dear Miss Piggy,
My car engine turns over, but it won't start.
I've checked the plugs, the points, the condenser, the coil, the distributor,
and I even sprayed carburettor cleaner in the carb -- but no dice.
What gives?
Stuck.

Dear Stuck,
It sounds to me like your car is broken.
If you need it soon,
I would get it fixed.

Miss Piggy: Miss Piggy's Guide to Life
(As Told to Henry Beard)