477.
In terms of land mass, the United Kingdom is a fairly small country. From Land's End in Cornwall to John O'Groats in Caithness- the most distant points on the mainland - cannot be much more than 900 miles, if even that. Nevertheless, within these small islands there are numerous diverse cultures, ethnic groups and even climatic subzones. In the current atmosphere of suspicion and hostility towards those who are not perceived to be 'British', it never ceases to amaze me that the ones who shout loudest about the failure of multiculturalism and integration tend to be those who do not have an understanding of what Britain is themselves. Apparently, according to those who are most opinionated about what it is to be 'British', one must prove their integration by supporting England's national sports teams and swearing an oath of allegiance to the monarch. That buggers me up then... I guess I cannot be British, because I don't and won't support England (I tend to either support whoever they are playing or just don't bother about them at all, being - as I am - more interested in following Scotland) and because I am a republican. I can understand where such attitudes come from, though, so I do not tend to get angry when I hear the Scottish (and Welsh and Irish) contribution to Britishness being dismissed. While the Scots, Irish and Welsh have always been self-assured about their nationality, and tend not to get confused about what they are (most accept that they are Scots/Welsh/Irish first and British second or vice versa), the English are much more uncertain. Personally, I blame the English education system for using the terms England and Britain interchangeably - as if the two are the same thing. This seems to be perpetuated in the media, particularly the broadcast media, which is based in London and the south-east, and which is largely run by people who have been through the English education system. Thus we have it that the BBC spends a huge amount of time talking about test cricket, Jonny Wilkinson and David Beckham, etc - all English cultural products - and none at all about shinty (a Gaelic sport similar to Irish hurling that is played in the Highlands of Scotland) and very little about anything that takes place north or west of the borders. We have to attune our ears to Cockney, Brummy, Mancunian, Scouse, Geordie and Estuary English accents without complaint, and just accept that our accents are 'provincial' and too difficult for delicate southern ears. We are chastised for not celebrating English triumphs - even if those (thankfully rare) triumphs come at the expense of representatives of the other home nations (think about the rugby world cup). I can accept commentators saying 'us' when they are talking about the England national football and rugby squads and 'them' when they are talking about Scotland, Wales or Ireland. I can even forgive their ignorance when a Scottish, Welsh or Northern Irish achievement is always British, while English achievements remain English. However, what really, really annoys me are the BBC weather forecasters. A couple of months ago, they came up with a new weather map of the British Isles that was so skewed that Scotland was a small dot at the top of the screen, while the south of England was so large that it was almost a street map. Complaints were made about this map and it was changed slightly - and only after the BBC insisted that there was nothing wrong with it. They may have changed their map, but the weather readers still sing from a Sassenach-centric hymnsheet. You see, yesterday they were telling us that it was going to be a scorcher and that the tarmac would be melting across the country: 'get the sunblock out and make for the beach and eat lots of ice cream', we were told - unless you live in Scotland and Northern Ireland, where it will be dull and wet and cold, they added as little more than an aside. This morning it was all doom and gloom: 'the sun is gone and it is going to rain heavily all day... floods... wet... cold... wet... miserable... cloudy.... winter has returned to England', we were warned. Today, it was hot and sunny in Dundee... I think that it might have rained down south, though.

Last year I was still decorating the living-room