Frogs
I’ve been a frog man for most of my life,
which is why I’m single, and haven’t a wife,
as though many women enjoy a good romp,
it’s tricky to coax them out into a swamp.

Amongst the mosquitos, you’ll find me most nights.
dressed up in my wetsuit and green lycra tights,
Amongst all my frog friends I’ll chirrup and croak,
as I like the bond between all froggy folk.

It takes lots of luck for a frog to grow old,
as they face many dangers out there in the cold.
As spawn they are gobbled by insects and fish,
and to herons big tadpoles make quite a nice dish.
And once they are frogs, well the dangers don’t stop,
as on the swamp food chain they’re far from the top.
Every snake, every fish, every bird , every eel,
is out in the swamp looking for a nice meal.
a nice meal of froggies is what they enjoy,
to escape them there’s tricks that most smart frogs employ.

Frogs are famous for jumping, its what they do best,
most jumps would put any old snake to the test.
But jumping is only a frogs’ last resort,
they don’t jump for fun and they don’t jump for sport.

In the daytime there are too many bities around,
there are birds in the sky, there are snakes on the ground.
The frogs hide away in their damp little houses,
where they’re safe from the snakes and marsupial mouses.
Some hide in trees, some hide in the ground,
the froggies sit still and hope they won’t be found,
but at night when its raining and there’s plenty to eat,
the froggies emerge from their daytime retreat.

Of course there are dangers at night for a frog,
Night herons, most fish, or a big hungry dog.
Its probably good that frogs brains are small,
or else they wouldn’t go out there at all.
But they go out to sing, and they go out to croak,
to eat a few moths and share a frog joke,
and find a nice mate with good strong froggy legs,
and they get together and make lots of eggs.

And before it gets light they slink back to their houses,
and I take off my tights and I put on my trousers.
My friends have remarked how my legs have got longer,
my mouth’s gotten bigger, my voice a bit stronger,
I spend too much time sitting still on a log,
Good heavens! I think I’m becoming a frog!
©Alexander Dudley


Toilet training frogs is a difficult task.
Green tree frogs are charismatic, long-lived creatures with a long association with people in northern and eastern mainland
Australia. They used to be an abundant species around south-east NSW, but over recent years their decline in this area has been
astronomical, almost certainly as the result of a contagious fungal pathogen. In their natural habitat they live in hollow trees, but
toilet bowls and cisterns make excellent shelters, and vertical drain pipes great echo chambers as males try to woo women with
their distinctive, honking calls.