My paternal grandfather Bing Poy Lee (1871-1969) was very long-lived, surviving 3 wives and passing away at age 98 despite being a chain pipe-smoker. (He used his Chinese astrology skills to predict that he would live to only 54, but it looks like he was slightly off.)

In 1903, he came to the United States to seek his fortune. He learned to speak English fluently and started a hand laundry business on Front Street in Red Bank, New Jersey. His business partner was also from the same village of Tung Hang in Toisan, China. Since people from the same village usually share the same last name, his partner was also named Lee.

My grandfather toiled long hours for little pay and saved up almost every penny to send back to China. He was very lonely here, but he made the sacrifice so that our family could survive. Sadly, he would never see my grandmother again.

By 1924, my grandfather had returned to China as a middle-aged widower. He asked his friends to spread the word that he was looking for a second wife. One day, a young widow walked into the rice store in Toisan where my relatives worked. She expressed a possible interest in marriage. My relatives looked her over and told my grandfather that she appeared to be a suitable candidate for the position of what is colloquially known as a "room filler" -- a woman who replaces one's deceased wife. So after a short courtship, they got married. As befitting a second marriage, there was no big celebration party.

We were lucky that my grandfather's second wife turned out to be a good, decent woman. She had a kind heart and earned a reputation for never turning away a person in need. She had a child (a girl) from her first marriage, but I never knew her. Perhaps her daughter had already been married off to someone in another village by the time she married my grandfather.

She did not have bound feet, having come from a poor peasant family and re-marrying into another one. The good thing was that it allowed her to do household chores in comfort.

Hey everybody, I'm still hanging in there! I'm 95 years old now (in January 2021) and I still have vivid memories of my grandfather's second wife being a great cook!
Take care and stay safe!


Farn S. Lee

PS: Leland Wong, you left a comment in 2005. It is incredible that my daughter and son-in-law remembered your name and asked a mutual friend to introduce them to you 12 years later!