Yesterday I saw my tutor and told her I’m beyond caring. I said “do your worst, I just don’t care any more”. I have to hand in my files tomorrow for their moderation and am burning the candle at both ends to get it ready. Usually a phrase like “burning the candle at both ends” implies some sort of fun but trust me, not this time.

I have been struggling to put one foot in front of the other to get to work and am as fragile as an eggshell. Despite this, I am trusted well enough to run the class on my own all day now and that’s been the case for some weeks. I’m hoping that’s a good sign. Today has been one such day. After a morning brimming with literacy and maths, we had a slightly lower tempo afternoon starting with some independent reading.

One of my boys pitched up next to me while I was listening to another child read and shoved his diary under my nose. He’d got the date wrong (bless him) and for anyone not well versed in children’s handwriting the note says “School Miss H not here today. Miss Mingay has been stunningly nice today. I hope Miss Mingay gets the job!” Sadly he didn't know there is no job and no prospect of one either.

I wonder if you can work out what happened next? Mrs Mingay suddenly got something in her eye and had to go out of the room for a moment (don’t worry, there was another grown up in attendance) to recompose and wipe away the tears. Just when you think you can’t take any more, a little person does something so wonderful, so unexpected and so kind that I almost lost the plot completely in front of all of them. I asked him if he’d mind me making a photocopy of it and some of the other children asked what it was. A universal murmur went around the room, a troop of small people arrived with big beaming smiles and told me that I am the best student teacher they’ve ever had. I know their view means nothing at the end of the day but it’s a memory I’ll cherish to the grave. Mrs Mingay got another “something in her eye” moment and again needed to recompose but when I stepped back into the room, my step felt a little lighter and I felt a little less heavy of heart.