During a hike in an area of Arches National Park that I call "straight drainage" I made beneficent use of this aura seep, one of several in the Moab area. Aura seeps are formations related to seeping of aura fluids from within Moabian sandstone.

Unlike aura cavities, which can erode the surface of the sandstone, aura seeps merely stain the rock. The stains form channels of psychic energy. The wider the stain, the more powerful it is. By being in full-body contact with Moabian sandstone at an aura seep, one can expect to have a pleasant journey to the Nirvana of Knowing, otherwise known as "Enlightenment." The spaces between the channels are the best place to leech off the power of the aura (it cannot be proven, so I just accept it on faith). All of this is explained in painful detail on page 1348 of "The Sacred Paths to Oneness," a lengthy treatise on Enlightenment written by the Bhagwan Hotair Windbag of Antelope.

Following the Bhagwan's Blessed Instructions, I positioned myself between major seep channels in order to reap the greatest "bang for my psychic buck." The Bhagwan states (I am paraphrasing, as I am not permitted to repeat his words verbatim) that the seeker of Enlightenment through Oneness with sandstone is advised to use aura seeps if he or she has trouble remaining motionless for the standard duration of 7.1 hours. This is so because aura seeps transport the Seeker to a Higher Plane of Existence faster than non-seep Moabian sandstone. Aura seeps bring that down to 6.8 hours.

My serious psychic self-sojourn in the seep was solemn but not satisfactory. I laid here for the required 6.8 hours without moving in the slightest. This brought me to a spiritual state in which I began to see the Light: it became clear to me that I could impress people merely by saying "form factor" instead of "size and shape." At that moment of discovery my cell phone rang (it was a wrong number!). This startled me. I not only moved---ruining my psychic reverie---but also uttered a naughty four-letter word (it was not "seep"). After catching my breath I wiped the sweat from my brow and drank some Bhagwanade to replenish my spiritual electrolytes. Then I stood up, switched my phone to "vibrate," and continued my exploration of the drainage. I have yet to take advantage of my Wondrous Discovery, but I drool at the thought of impressing people by writing or saying "form factor."

Joe Tripod, who accompanies me on these trips, was not affected by the aura seep: he just stood there the whole time. I like that.

Excuse me now, as I must get back to the book I'm reading: "Brevity in Writing and Speech." It is a difficult read.
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