“I wish I could stand on a busy street corner, hat in my hand, and beg people to throw me all their wasted hours” - Bernard Berenson

I wish I could get all my wasted hours back. My definition of wasted and yours may differ greatly. To me, a wasted hour is spent doing something unnecessary that I don’t want to be doing. Sitting in the doctor’s office with a sick kid, don’t want to do it but it’s necessary. Playing Xbox, unnecessary but I want to do it. Neither of those are wasted hours to me. A few years ago, I started a photography business on the side. I really enjoyed photography and I was good at it. Why not make a few bucks. “I’ll never do more than a session a month” I told myself. That turned into two a month, which turned into six a month. The fun quickly left. Then it became tedious work. I tried sending out my files to be edited by a third party, but quality fell. The money was good but not worth what it was doing to me. I began to dread picking up my camera, when I used to take it everywhere with me. Over time it became something which was both unnecessary and something that I no longer wanted to do, but I did. The jobs just kept coming in and I couldn’t say “No. Enough”. At the end of last year I made a decision and shut my site down. I deleted the pictures from my site that took me years to build. I knew that if I regretted it as I was doing it then I had made a mistake. Instead, each mouse click brought relief. I can now wake up and check my email without fear of their being a new inquiry from my site. Now, I must say that while I began to hate what it was doing to me, I loved all my clients. The trust that parents put in me to take pictures of their families means more to me than they will ever know. There is a special set of triplets that will always have a place in my heart for what they have gone through. There is a little girl that makes me smile every time I think of her sassy little boots. There is a woman who had cancer that trusted me enough to take pre-mastectomy pictures of her and the weight of that trust weighs on me heavily whenever I see her. I have dozens of stories like these. As the cliche break up statement says “It’s not you, it’s me.” I am so thankful for every single one of you.

I was going to just take a break. I wasn’t going to pick up my camera until I missed having it in my hand. I thought about doing another Photo a Day but then dismissed it. But you know what? A Photo a Day is Necessary for me and something that I loved doing. I’ve tried to do it again in the past but I always had the business hanging over my head and I failed every time. I got a message from a photographer friend of mine named Kori who asked me if I was doing a PaD this year and something just clicked. She said she would do one and I figured, “What the hell.” Time to jump back on the horse. I realize that in my absence I have lost a lot of my friends and followers on Pbase. I hope to get you all back. Truth be told, I thrive on feedback, but those of you close to me know that, even if you don’t say it. :)

This picture is what I love. It’s me driving with my camera and seeing something, anything, that I want to take a picture of. I like it. If you like it too, then that’s awesome. If not, I still like it. I took it for me. There is no contract dictating the terms of this photograph. It’s for me on my terms. Hopefully the first of 365.

Thanks Kori.

Check her out here. She is giving Pbase a try for 30 days. Show her why I have paid my dues for all these years, even though I wasn’t around. She’ll fit in well here if she thinks there is a reason to stick around.

http://www.pbase.com/kori/project_365