Posted as an answer to forum question: "Do Birds Fart?" (low class people vocabulary - suggestion posted on forum)
Do birds have flatulence? (high class people vocabulary)
Definition: Flatulence is the expulsion through the rectum of a mixture of gases that are byproducts of the digestion process of mammals and other animals.
I heard the gossip that some of the bird people are trying to develop the new jet engine and use the energy of compressed gas so the first experiments with beans were secretly performed in underground location. As the mater of national security these experiments are top secret and involved bird people citizens are ordered to keep it as a top secret; common bird people are strictly not allowed to try eat beans as their government is afraid this news can be investigated by ape people if discovered. My informant was very scared to be accused of being a traitor and demanded complete anonymity in citing the source. I was told that the first experiment was a great success but one documentary photo was stolen so now bird people are afraid that the ape people government will send spies to steal the new technology or even start the war to take it by force. Only drawback was that the pilot was exposed to extremely strong turbulence during maneuvers and not being able to control precisely amount of released gas. I have been told this should be corrected soon. Fortunately the pilot was not banded so he could keep his security clearance. Odor analysis can not be done from the photo so best variety of fuel (beans) will remain unknown even if this photo is leaked to ape people.
Also bird people are afraid that beans and other crops can be grown under complete security if ape people discover their plans. Last but not least bird people are afraid that some ape people organizations can accuse them to add dangerous gasses to the atmosphere that will change the climate and atmosphere content; this new threat could trigger many new restrictions and regulations. Very unpleasant situation, it might stink as well and stock market can crash on both sides.
It is not confirmed but it is a strong suspicion that beans are from great Texas variety used to add to some finest chili soup. This was judged from the photo of jet stream and based on believe that everything is bigger and better in Texas - pilot is thought to be from the North for no obvious reasons.
Mark - Visiting bird people underground facility in undisclosed location
Well, this question was asked before and research was done. Here is a post that tries to answer this question by qualified researcher (Ph.D. research) who observed, smelled etc when waiting for bird to fart. http://lauraerickson.blogspot.com/2007/04/question-of-day-do-birds- fart.html Answer was; birds do not fart but she also included explanations why not and some more. Is anybody having objection that some Ph.D. research can be fascinating? BTW some people believe that birds do fart (have flatulence – if you are high class) - read the discussion.
Posted on forum: “Nonsense, everybody knows that birds don't eat rice or beans because if they do, they explode!”
I have to admit that when I read this response I was in shock. I thought that urban legends are not popular among birders. And here I am learning that not only birders but we all (everybody) believe myths.
From there: Bird watching has its own set of myths. I have been monitoring the Internet discussion groups about birds for a year, and no matter how many times certain myths are debunked, they continue to appear, and there are always a few folks ready to believe them and pass them on. The following ten are among the most persistent, some of them popping up every few months.
Myth about rice is first on list - No 1.
Another site very well summarized the rice myth: Exploding birds is a myth started by extremists who blame humans for all ills of the world. If, in fact, birds were to explode by eating rice, militaries around the world would be feeding birds rice and using them as live hand grenades to lob at their enemies. Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Does_a_bird_explode_if_it_eats_rice#ixzz1bfY0rRPT