The wheels on the bus

Sometimes when I get all screwed up,
this is the stuff that I think about.
Letters have been sent and letters have been received.
Not a dialog or a chat but more of a death.
The entire week has left me just rubbed raw.
Every time I deal with this I end up really hurt and raw.
There is just no course around it all.
So I just go through it and try to pull together on the other side.
And yet through it all there is one constant I count on.
As I feel like absolute crap inside there is something there.
It is the hands of friends and family supporting me.
Not mythical footprints or metaphors but people caring.
I learned it again on 5-13-07 and it is true today.
Some hands may come and go from our lives.
Yet there always seems to be more to take their place.
It is the support of our humanity that makes us whole.
It is the kind word, the knowing look, or the gentle hug.
They are the hands that hold us up and help us live.

And in response to Greg's question of a day or two ago:
He asked "It does get better, right?"
Yes Greg, it gets WAY better.
I wish I could say it is all milk and honey.
I wish I could say it is all peaches and cream.
However I would not be speaking the truth if I did that.
The pain does ease however and life goes on.
There are still highs and there are still lows.
The lows kind of suck, but the highs are all new.
What I have found in it all is that the restriction goes away.
It strips away all the bullshit and you are left with you.
I have come a long way since the beginning of all this.
I would not trade a single step of it to go back.
I will say that your new life is what you make it into.
All of a sudden you can follow your dreams.
You can do the things you always wanted to do.
If you mess up along the way it is not as big a deal.
For me, mistakes and fallibility finally became acceptable.
Obviously for the last week or so I have been dealing with crap from it.
However even that is worth it because it is real life now.
In a week or so I will be back to my core again.
If you ask me then I will say OMG Yes it is better.
Divorce does not take away life, it can also give it.
When I say things like be true to yourself I really mean it.
It is not just a saying on these pages, it is real.
If you do that through all the bullcrap it just feels better (opinion).
That way when you feel better and can look back on it, it will be good.
Talk to others who have been through it because they understand.
I now think that only a divorced person can understand the anger and pain.
Thank goodness I knew some to help me along the way.
It gets WAY better, but it is still life.

PS: Yes, part of this entry is trying to make myself feel better.
I am trying to rush ahead a week and pick myself back up.
Reminders of the people who have helped me along the way helps.