The Great Sea Battle of the Conch Republic
"We Seceded Where Others Failed!"

It was a sunny cloudless day as the crowds gathered along Mallory Square while the Conch Republic Military prepared for the Great Battle with the US Coast Guard. Several dozen Conch Republic boats ranging from the historic Schooners to sailboats, catamarans, yachts and even floating Tiki Huts circled the choppy harbor as two fast Coast Guard Boats arrived with water cannons blasting. The Great Battle then commenced as water cannons flooded the decks of boats and loaves of stale Cuban bread were launched at the Coast Guard. The sky was streaked in white as rolls of toilet paper rained down on the boats and crowd from the Conch Republic Airforce circling overhead. The harbor was filled with the sounds of explosions and gunshots as the Conch Republic Army fired their cannons. After an intense and very wet sea battle the Coast Guard sent up it’s orange surrender flare and happiness was had by all.
"Long Live the Conch Republic"


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