“If you do not keep your children out of the middle of the conflict, they’ll feel that they have to choose sides.” Hiram Johnson, a professor of parenting at American University in Washington, D.C., believes that it’s important for parents to show their children that they’re there for them, that they love them, that they care about them. “It’s not that simple,” he says. “There are http://uthlaw.com that come into play when you try to handle child-rearing issues at the parent’s home.” What complex issues? “None of the issues that get talked about at the parent’s home are really relevant or impactful enough to warrant a full discussion,” says Hohimer. “It’s better to just not discuss those issues with your children so that they don’t have to pick sides.” Mediation does allow parents to create a parenting plan that meets the needs of their family. But it doesn’t always work out that way. For example, the parents of a couple have a hard time agreeing on a parenting plan that meets both of their needs and supports their kids. Mediation is an attempt to create a parenting plan that meets both parents and is best for the kids, but it doesn’t always work out that way. For example, the parents of a couple have a hard time agreeing on a parenting plan that meets both of their needs and supports their kids. Mediation is an attempt to create a parenting plan that meets both parents and is best for the kids, but it doesn’t always work out that way. “Most parents don’t want to pick sides, and they don’t want to cause pain and hurt for their kids,” says Dr. Gitu Bhatia, a former family mediator and co-author of “Kids at Play: Parents and Children in Conflict Management and Mediation.” In order for children to have healthy relationships, they need to have an example of what a healthy relationship is. “If you pick sides, you are not taking the high road,” she says. “And so it ends up causing conflict.” With that in mind, it’s crucial for parents to create a parenting plan that considers the needs of their family and considers the type of parenting they want to provide to their kids. In most cases, she says, the parents should make a parenting plan that considers the ages and personalities of their kids, their parents’ work hours, vacations and expenses, and the kids’ daily and weekly activities. “A parenting plan should fit the lifestyle of the parents,” she says. “If a parent is workaholic, a child will be workaholic. If a parent is homeopathic, the child will be homeopathic. If a parent is a gym, the child will be gym'd. It’s how you want to respond to the situation.” Besides helping kids develop a healthy relationship, therapists consider the way children are treated at home and their experiences and those are very important as well. Dr. Bhatia says that parents should ensure that children have access to both parents – including overnights – and that parents talk with the children about the divorce and child-rearing. She also recommends that children be given both parents’ and that parents should make an effort to talk with the children about the divorce and child-rearing. Dr. Bhatia stresses that it’s crucial for parents to make an effort to keep in touch with their children’s activities and activities. This includes checking-in and notification of activities and coaches, and it’s essential for parents to stay involved in their children’s lives on a regular basis. Not only is it hard to argue with a child about a divorce, but it’s equally as difficult as it is to argue with a child about something in the present. “A child has lots of competing interests,” says Sheryl Garrett, a child psychologist and founder of Garrett, Bach & Ross Child Specialists. “The divorce is a challenge for the child, and the parents need to work together to create a healthy outcome for the child.” Garrett adds that it can be challenging to work with a reluctant parent who is in the middle of the divorce and can’t let his or her children know how to act, and develops a healthy co-parenting relationship that includes regular communication and parental monitoring. In other cases, the co-parenting relationship can develop in the following ways: One parent develops a healthy relationship with the other and is in the best interest of the child; or The child develops a healthy relationship with the parent and is not a threat |