It is quite easy as a mother/parent to neglect one's own self-care. The competing demands of tending to our kids, while also juggling the many other roles and responsibilities in our lives and careers, can leave hardly any time left for self-care activities (or inactivities because the case may be). Self-care and self-nurturing are key our well-being and effectiveness as mothers (and as human beings). We not merely have our kids to love and care for, and our partners where they exist, but also ourselves.

In many ways, we ultimately love and look after others, to the extent we love and care for ourselves. Many of you reading this article are very proficient at being "other focused", caring for the needs of children, partners, aging parents, friends, neighbours, and perhaps also clients, patients and students if your projects on the planet involves helping or supporting others. Again, the extent to which you are able to fully show up by yourself behalf, will be reflected in the distance you are able to support others to take terms of their health insurance and well-being- including your children. A wise woman once thought to me, "we only take people so far as we have gone ourselves." As mothers, you want to take children the great distance towards their health, well-being and happiness, hence a journey we have been called to make ourselves.

Being a mother, may be the most complex, amazing, exhausting, and meaningful work that I have ever done in my life so far. All the tending, loving, giggling, cleaning up, getting snacks, changing diapers, running baths, reading stories, teaching, sleepless nights, adjusting, evolving, coordinating, learning and growing is truly mind boggling. I used to believe the toughest job I ever endured was as a child welfare social worker, than I worked in the emergency department of a hospital and thought that has been up there in the "this is challenging work" category. Onward to key note speeches and facilitating training programs in front of a huge selection of people, where my heart would pound loudly in my own ears as I was introduced, seconds away from having to say something brilliant (or at least not foolish) to individuals sitting at round tables making use of their name tags on. Then I became a mother and fell to my knees in the humility of the all consuming, miracle of motherhood. Now That is hard work! Motherhood, if you ask me, is hard, easy, natural, challenging, joyful, soulful and often invisible work.

Self-care has a whole new meaning now since how well I manage myself will determine, for some reason, how well I look after my children. That being said, I also spot the more we look after others, the harder it really is to maintain self-care - there may be so many competing imperatives on our time. With deep respect and compassion for this reality, here are a few tips for prioritiizing your personal self-care as a mother/parent (if you are not a parent - I am hoping you find value in these pointers as you honour your self-care in the midst of what is true in your life).

Do everything you love - in the event that you only can create half an hour a day to deal with yourself - choose activities that you truly want to do (what really fills you up, inspires you, nurtures you, supports you - choose these exact things!) - it will make it easier to get to them. Yes, running 5 kms will be good, but maybe you would rather have a bubble bath - so have the bath!

Think integration versus balance - balance might seem like a distant far fetched notion while you pack kids into the car, run back in the house to grab your vehicle keys and the lunch bag you forgot on the counter, so let's reframe balance into integration. Integration implies that the really important parts of your life get some of your attention - so you exercise, eat healthy, and make time for self reflection. But perchance you can't do all these things each day - but overall you have a tendency to them throughout a week, per month - this is integration.

Give yourself permission to place yourself first - there is always more to accomplish - another load of laundry, more dishes - there's always something that can take you away from yourself! You need to give yourself permission, absolute endorsement, to look after yourself. This WILL mean walking away from other activities to claim this time for yourself - this guilt free, essential time on your own devoted to tending to your wellness and replenishment.

Ask for what you need and want - we need support from our family, friends and colleagues to place self-care up front in our lives. One way to understand this support is to not leave it to chance or default, ask for it, be clear and specific in the thing you need from others to help you achieve your self-care goals. Make sure to also ask how you can support them to be mindful too - this creates a win-win environment for creating and sustaining healthy lifestyles in our families and inside our workplaces.

Create Microcurrent device -care routines and habits - if you have to always give a large amount of thought and preparation to your self-care activities, you're much less more likely to actually continue with getting down to it. This can be a lot simpler to have routines for the self-care - for example, you know you get a walk at lunch time (period - you protect enough time, you don't have to figure out when you are going to exercise, and while others are working through lunch, giving an answer to more email, etc. you're moving your system and having a break!)

Say YES to rest - most Moms I know are tired - and once and for all reason. Getting some sleep plus some rest is key to having the energy and frame of mind to have a tendency to other self-care activities. For anyone who is feeling depleted, run down, exhausted - it really is OK to create rest your number 1 priority! Your energy will rise, you will feel better by getting some rest. Based on how old your children are, what stage of sleep deprivation you might be in as a parent, rest might need to be the ONLY think you're trying to do in effort to deal with yourself. It's OK to possess just one thing on your own self-care "to do" list!