The JaMarcus Russell experiment needs to end. It needs to end as of
today. He is not an NFL quarterback right now and he never will be an
NFL quarterback. He is a failed experiment, a dud, a $30 million
washout. You know it and I know it.
The only person who doesn’t know it is Al Davis, Al who lives in a
parallel universe where Russell has solid mechanics and makes good
throws that hit the crummy Raiders’ receivers in stride and never sail
over their heads or nose-dive at their feet. In the real world,
JaMarcus Russell is a catastrophe, one of the worst football signings
in world history.
Of course, Raiders coach Tom Cable yanked him from the latest loss,
this one against the Kansas City Chiefs, among the wretched teams of
the Earth — the game between the Chiefs and Raiders was like a semi-
pro game, guys playing sloppy ball and then going for a kegger
afterward. This marks the second straight home game Russell couldn’t
finish because of substandard and unsatisfactory play. Bruce
Gradkowski, no whiz himself, had to finish up because Russell couldn’t
finish for himself.
When Cable gave Russell the hook late in the third quarter, Cable
said, according to Russell himself, “balls were going every which
way.”
That would be an accurate description of the wild, let-’er-rip style
Russell employs.
“He really didn’t have much to say,” Cable said about the moment of
yankage. “It wasn’t like there was a debate or anything. I was going
to make the change and we’re going to move forward.”
Cable’s tone as he spoke could only be described as High Disgust. He
would not commit to Russell as his quarterback next week — which
indicates a certain level of sanity in Cable. He said he will have to
watch the film. Lord help him when he watches that monstrosity. If
things don’t look so good — and how could they? — Cable may go with
Gradkowski.
After the game, Russell was blissfully ignorant of his perilous
position — just like he’s often ignorant of defensive alignments.
Asked if he will start next week against the Bengals, he replied, “I
wasn’t told any differently. Whatever coach comes up with, I’ll go
with that. I’ll prepare like I am the starter.”
Heaven help us if he’s the starter ever again in this century in this
world in this galaxy. So let’s be clear about this. Cable should start
Gradkowski or Charlie Frye next week. Or the Raiders should run down
Ken Stabler, old and out of football shape, or Jim Plunkett or Johnny
Unitas and ask them to play. Granted Johnny no longer is with us, but
even he would be an improvement over Russell, who’s dead in the water,
not to mention a corpse on the field.
Using his new-found tone of High Disgust, Cable explained the
benching: “On the two plays prior we (Cable meant Russell) misread it.
Both of them were wide open. That was enough.”
“That was enough” is the signature line of anyone employing the tone
of High Disgust. It’s what your dad told you after you short-sheeted
his bed and what the principal told your parents after you pulled the
fire alarm and blew up cherry bombs in the boys’ latrine.
“He didn’t throw it well,” Cable said by way of summary, “and that was
the reason for the change at quarterback.”
Naturally, Russell saw things differently. He’s never at fault. In his
mind, he’s a real up-and-comer, and he plays great all the time.
“The last drive I got hit kind of late and one guy hit my elbow and
the ball went sailing,” he said.
And the sun got in his eyes even though it was overcast and his
jockstrap was too tight and limited his mobility and a pigeon flew too
close to his bean and obstructed his vision and the Chiefs had the
audacity to play defense against him and they made things difficult.
Otherwise, he was fabulous.
Was Russell surprised when Cable directed him to the bench?
“I really was,” he said in a surprised voice. “Things were going OK.”
Things were going OK? Well, it depends on how you define OK. Russell’s
passer rating was 45.8. That is a remedial number. You score a number
like that and you go live in a hole like Saddam Hussein at the end or
you live under a rock or you disguise yourself as a wandering minstrel
and play the guitar and sing Beatles’ songs at Times Square for spare
change.
The Raiders need to find an exit strategy with this guy. He never can
be a starter but he also can’t be a backup. A backup must study hard
and stay ready and eager, and it’s not clear Russell even can do that
as a starter. Maybe they should make him a tight end, if he ever could
get into tight-end shape.
Here’s a prediction, sad but heartfelt. JaMarcus Russell is a
notorious flop and he never had what good quarterbacks have. He will
be out of the league within three years.
