ON THE ROAD WITH SARA AND DON-ALL PICTURES AND TEXT ON THIS SITE ARE COPYRIGHTED BY DON AND SARA SCHULTZ- CLICK ON ALL AND THEN DOUBLE CLICK ON EACH PICTURE TO ENLARGE.

An Alaskan treat for any visitor is a trip on a paddlewheel riverboat. Paddle wheelers have played an important part in Alaskan history since the Gold Rush days. Most of the major rivers get their water from huge glaciers and there is a constant down wash of silt. This causes the water depth to vary greatly and often be very shallow; ideal conditions for a paddle boat with its wide beam and shallow draft. Sara and I took the three and a half hour cruise on the Discovery II on the Chena River in Fairbanks. The cruise began with an aircraft take off and landing in the river right next to the boat. There are more private aircraft per capita in Alaska than any other state in the union, and bush pilots have and still do play a key role in the movement of people and cargo to all parts of this vast wilderness. They have, in fact, replaced the paddle boats due to their speed and ability to land on the millions of waterways in Alaska.

Sara loved the stop at the famous Trailbreaker Kennels along the river’s edge, where four time Iditarod winner, Susan Butcher and her husband David Monson trained their dogs. Susan died tragically of leukemia at age 51 but is a legend in Alaska. From the decks of the boat, we watched the handlers bring out some of the puppies. Sara, if given a chance, would have bundled up all four and headed back to the lower 48. There is not a puppy in all of Alaska that didn’t steal her heart. Keep in mind; these puppies have very, very large paws. In fact they are all paw and bred to run. It was explained that good sled dogs, at least for the Iditarod, are not necessarily large. And while most picture the pure bred Siberian Husky or Alaskan Malamute with its curled back tail and black and white face as a typical sled dog, most mushers prefer mixed breeds, a result of complicated cross breeding that produces the needed speed and endurance for a race like the Iditarod. In fact, most top dogs look very “mutt” like. From 1988 though 1991, surprisingly, a team of standard poodles competed in “The Greatest Race on Earth”. After showing us the puppies, the big dogs were harnessed and lined up for a demonstration practice run. As the dogs yipped and howled and lurched, a dog fight developed and the main handler had to bite, yes, bite the most aggressive dog on the nose to regain control. Then they were off. As the team blasted across the horizon on the other side of a small lake, the spectators on the boat watched with slack jaws and open mouths. The sheer power of one of these teams is hard to believe. You would have had to be there.

The longest stop of the trip was at an Athabascan Indian Village where we left the boat for over an hour. Dixie Alexander, a renowned native beader, showed off traditional garments she created from various hides. One coat trimmed in fur sold for over $2000 dollars. There were examples of typical shelters and a salmon cleaning demonstration with the famous knife of the Alaskan natives, the ulu (ooloo). In a matter of seconds, the huge fish was gutted, filleted and hung on a pole for smoking. Ulus date back to as early as 2500 BC and are a Inuit woman’s all purpose knife, used for everything from food preparation to skinning and boning to hair cutting. These amazing knifes have a blade that is curved like the letter C which ensures the force is centered over the middle of the blade. This gives the ulu much more cutting force than a traditional knife. A rocking motion on a cupped wooden board makes for the ultimate chopping, dicing and slicing machine. It sounds like a carnival commercial, but the ulu really does work. Finally, the whistle blew and we boarded the boat for our trip back to the dock. It was a great day on the river and the introduction to the ulu and its versatility led to a later purchase of a hand made model for use in our RV kitchen.

Alaska is the home of many geothermal hot springs. In 1905, two gold mining brothers, Robert and Thomas Swan discovered Chena Hot Springs at the North Fork of the Chena River. Based on a tip from a Geological Survey crew, who saw steam rising from a valley, the brothers finally found the hot spot. It took them over a month to travel to the location from Fairbanks, but Robert was determined as he suffered greatly from rheumatism. By 1911, the property boasted a stable, bathhouse and twelve small cabins for visitors. The resort was on its way to becoming one of the premier spas of interior Alaska, and a favorite getaway spot for winter-weary residents of Fairbanks. On our visit to Chena Hot Springs we were amazing to think about earlier visitors traveling the same path via different modes of transportation and trails, some taking anywhere from 4-14 days from downtown Fairbanks to reach the hot springs. Today’s travel via a modern 56.5 mile paved road provides a quick one hour fifteen minute trip. Chena Hot Springs recently celebrated its Centennial. Sara and I spent hours in the beautiful outdoor pool, soaking in the 100 degree plus waters, and letting a water blast from a pipe in the rocks massage our bodies. We could not help but think of all the early pioneers and gold seekers of Alaska that had enjoyed the same healing waters, often in a winter snow storm as billows of steam rose from the pool and a white cap formed on their shaggy heads like the famous snow monkeys of Japan.

Alaska is a land filled with fantastic wildlife critters. One of the most thrilling aspects of taking an Alaskan vacation is the opportunity it presents to observe a variety of wildlife – all in their natural habitat. Grizzly and black bear can be found on the coast and in places like Denali National Park and Preserve, where a plethora of berries keeps these permanent residents well fed. In addition to bears, Denali is an ideal place to observe the wide-antlered caribou, moose, gray wolves and Dall sheep, the latter identified by its curled horns. Together, these animals constitute the "Denali Big Five," a sightseer's dream. We were lucky enough to see all five and get photos of all but the wolf.

But it would be a tremendous waste to miss the countless other examples of rich fauna and flora that is Alaska. Sara is an avid birdwatcher that can spot a feathered friend when no one else can even see it. Flying high above is the majestic bald eagle, which boasts a wingspan of up to eight feet. Some 40,000 bald eagles reside in Alaska today, with most nesting near water for easy fishing. They are one of more than 300 species of birds that can be found here, each a delight to observe and photograph. Other signature birds include the horned and tufted puffins, which thrive on the western end of Prince William Sound and along the Kenai Peninsula; the docile kittiwake, which nest in colonies along Glacier Bay; and the red-tailed hawk, a fixture at Wrangell-St. Elias. We spotted and photographed countless new birds during our Alaskan visit.

On the oceans we saw the sociable Pacific white-sided dolphins, which often entertain with their acrobatic leaps and somersaults in the wake of the glacier tour boat. In Prince William Sound, seals and sea lions congregate along the shore and on chunks of glacier ice floating in the water. There's nothing like the sight of a 40-ton humpback whale breaking the surface of the water for air. During the summer months, more than 2,000 humpbacks are known to feed in the waters off Alaska, offering visitors plenty of chances to enjoy the splendor of these magnificent giants of the sea. But the animal that seems to be enjoying itself the most is the irresistible sea otter, which often can be seen swimming on its back or hugging a friend as they frolic together in the water. Sara loved the sea otters. A visit to Alaska will be filled with the sightings of incredible animals.

Where ever we have traveled we have collected local colloquialisms, favorite phrases, greetings and regional humor. In New Foundland, we were often greeted with “Good wind blow in ye jib, Cocky”, which means may you have good luck, young man. In New England, we heard, “Yahup, two lamps burning, and no ship at sea", meaning a foolish person wasting time and fuel. Down Savanna Georgia way, a proper Southern Lady referred to the Civil War as “that dreadful little misunderstanding”. In Florida’s Little Havanna, we heard “Hey, Man, No Problem”, of course, its no problem for him. In New Orleans, you are most apt to hear, “Laisser les Bon Temps Rouler” (lay-say lay bawn tawn rul-lay) or let the good times roll. In Wisconsin you might be advised to fix that hose or it is going to leak “like a cow pissing on a flat rock”. In Kentucky, we heard "Man, with those buck teeth she could eat an ear of corn through a picket fence", and on the Baja peninsula of Mexico, when you ask when your car will be fixed, you will hear “Manana” for days. Finally on the West Coast a sign says “Welcome to California, now go home.” Alaska has its own set of phrases and local lore, Here are just a few of our favorites.

“SON, THERE IS A REASON FOR EVERYONE OF THEM CARS DOWN IN THE MEADOW”

Alaskans, particularly living in the bush refuse to throw anything and I mean anything away. We passed literally hundreds of homesteads whether on the coast, in the mountains or the woods that were surrounded with piles of detritus in the form of junked cars, junked appliances, junked boats, junked building materials, junked construction leftovers, junked mobile homes, pipeline parts, crashed airplanes, vintage mining equipment or just plain junked junk, right outside the front door, so they won't have to walk far in the snow when they need spare parts. Alaskans are famous for their ingenuity when it comes to using one part to fix another. Many vehicles are a combination of parts from several others and we even saw bits of old license plates used to fashion fishing lures. Outhouses in Alaska are an art form boosting adornments of every conceivable origin. Lawn sculptures are particularly creative with moose and mosquitoes being some of the more popular subjects. We saw some modern ingenuity when snow tracks were attached to a late model pickup for use on the winter trails. I asked our raft trip guide what he does when his 1991 Toyota needs a new carburetor way out here in the bush. He quickly answered, “I would call Toby; he has everything and if he doesn’t have it, he knows who does.

“MY GUN HAS KILLED LESS PEOPLE THAN TED KENNEDY’S CAR”

“THERE’S A PLACE FOR WILDLIFE, RIGHT ON MY PLATE NEXT TO MY MASHED POTATOES.”

“THE MOST DANGEROUS PLACE TO STAND IN ALL OF ALASKA IS BEHIND A TRAFFIC SIGN.”

Alaskans have lots and lots of guns. Visit the gun section at any Fred Meyer’s department store, sporting shop or for that matter, hardware store, and you see a lot of guns, big guns. Most natives would not think of packing anything less than a 45 caliber but most prefer 9mm, 360’s or the ridiculously huge 500 series, and we are talking about pistols. The 500 has a cartridge diameter that approaches one inch across and packs a wallop that could stop most charging pickups. One old fellow in Homer, explained to me that several years ago, a friend was mauled by a grizzly bear. Grizzlies go for the head and this one ripped the side of his face off so that his right ear was hanging below his chin and his skull was punctured. All the time, this unfortunate fellow was emptying a full clip of 9mm slugs from his Glock pistol into the bear’s chest, while the bear had his front arm wrapped around him. The critter’s lungs finally filled with blood and the man was able to escape. He then drove himself over 45 miles to the nearest hospital. The story was told in such a way that you knew it was true.

A hunting guide told me that the game officials want all “big game hunters” from the lower 48 to be accompanied by a local. These tenderfoots are often so inexperienced at shooting their expensive, high powered, scoped rifles at a bear that they miss and hit a foot or ear. A wounded charging grizzly can cover 45 yards in a few seconds, long enough for the guide to make a clean kill thus preventing a tragedy. The guide’s rifles don’t sport a scope. Speed is of the essence and trying to find a bear in a scope is not an option. And forget about “playing dead” during a grizzly attack. There are many recorded incidents where the attacking bear will slap a paw in the crotch of its victim to “test” its responsiveness. Oh and by the way, guess who takes the credit for stopping the bear when the “big game hunter” gets back home to the lower 48?

Alaskans don’t make a big deal over their guns. Pickups lack the traditional gun racks seen so often in the rear windows of pickups in the southern and western states of the lower 48. More likely, hand guns of large caliber are likely to be seen on the hip of an ATVer or a gun stock will be poking out of a deck mounted rifle case on a snow machine. Firearms are also used for subsistence hunting in the Frontier State. Every Alaskan is allowed two bear and a moose and all the fish he can catch per season, with certain limitations. Without this source of protein to fill the freezer, many Alaskans would have trouble making it through the winter. So a gun is a necessary tool for food as well as protection. If the tourist to Alaska has, however, any doubt as to the number of guns out there, all one has to do is watch for the traffic signs, particularly out in the bush. There is a saying in Alaska that the most dangerous place to stand is behind a traffic sign. Most signs are “blasted” into non recognition, riddled with bullet holes. No Hunting and Scenic View Ahead seem to be the favorites, probably due to the moose outline of the first and the convenient rifle sighting bull’s eye on the camera of the second, but any sign that suggests that you should do or cannot do something doesn’t stand a chance. The signs are testimony to the fact that most Alaskans don’t like to be told what or what not they can do. Natives are not big fans of government regulations in general and hunting and fishing rules in particular.

DANCING IN THE WHITE ROOM

On one of our many visits to the mountain ranges of Alaska, we noticed tiny, strange grooves on the almost vertical peaks of the snow covered ridges. I asked a ranger what would cause such unique marks so high on the slopes. When I ventured, “I suppose those are from small avalanches,” he responded, “Well, sort of; have you ever heard of ‘Dancing In the White Room’?” He then went on to explain how a popular but dangerous extreme sport had developed in Alaska, where skiers and snowboarders fly to the top of the mountain in a helicopter. Then they go down the virgin powder, sometimes over 5 ft deep, on what appears to be an almost 180 degree drop. Peter Jenkins in his book, Looking for Alaska describes a young snowboarder named Andy as he “Danced in the White Room” this way:
It is one way to come down the mountain. When the power’s dry and deep enough, three or four feet, by flying through it with all this force and speed and gravity, the way a boarder turns creates “the white room.” As Andy makes each turn, the snow flew out and about and everywhere. Making sharp turns deep and wide, the snow was sprayed up all over the place, surrounding him, like the walls of a white room. He couldn’t see anything but white. When a boarder is dancing in the white room, he must know precisely where the trees and cliffs and boulders outside are located. It used to be Andy wore his Walkman, and as he created the white room, he was listening to CDs by Pennywise and Offspring. Now he listens to the sounds of the powder and his breathing and his board. Andy has been in the white room an infinite number of times and was in it again coming down Queens Chair, except this time, he said he had this premonition that he should come out.”

I asked the ranger if the snowboarders ever crash and he said all the time. “Then we go up and try to find their bodies but often we “just wait till spring.” The ranger went on to say that the real problem was snow machiners. When I suggested to the ranger that he meant snowmobilers, like in Wisconsin, I was corrected. “We don’t have snowmobiles in Alaska; them little putt putts wouldn’t last a day up here. Up here we have snowmachines and some of them are as big as 900 cc’s.” Based on my knowledge of what a 900 cc Harley motorcycle looks like, that is a big machine. The ranger noted that in this version of insanity each snowmachiner tries to find out how far he can go up the mountain face without tipping over on himself. The winner is designated by the one who gets highest up the mountain face. He noted many do tip over but that they are relatively easy to find. They are usually near their machines. He asked rhetorically, “Yah know which ones are hard to find? No,…Well those are the ones who start their own personal avalanche and their bodies are buried under tons of snow.” I just assumed that finding the remains also had to “wait till spring.” Only in Alaska.

“IN ALASKA, YOU DON’T LOSE A GIRLFRIEND, YOU LOSE YOUR TURN”

“FOR A WOMAN THE ODDS, ARE GOOD, BUT THE GOODS ARE ODD”

“WE GOT A LOT 10’S UP HERE, BUT SHE’S USUALLY A 4 WITH A 6 PACK.”

‘YOU ARE FORMALLY DRESSED IF YOUR FUR HAT IS DEAD AND YOUR CARHARTTS ARE CLEAN.”

A quick look at the demographics of Alaska will show you that men vastly outnumber the women, and it has been that way since the Gold Rush. In fact, Alaska has the lowest ratio of women to men in all of the states of the Union. Between the bone chilling cold, lack of even the simplest of household conveniences and seemingly endless darkness in the winter, the Saturday Night bar scene in most Alaskan cities and towns makes for interesting encounters between the opposite sex. Keep in mind that the hours for the bars in Alaska are from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 a.m. (Yes,that is 21 hours!) Homer is a tiny town on the shore of Cook’s Inlet in the Gulf of Alaska. It is described on a bumper sticker as “A NICE LITTLE DRINKING TOWN WITH A FISHING PROBLEM”. On Homers infamous “spit” stands the Salty Dog Saloon, a landmark, and voted one of the ten best bars in all of Alaska. As one enters, you are struck by the literally thousands upon thousands of dollar bills stuck to every inch of the ceiling and walls, each signed, to the chagrin of the US Treasury, with a short message commemorating something usually lost or gained on a particular date. One hint to what may or may not have been lost is an occasional pair of panties or a bra pinned among the aging, fading, defaced currency. Under a sign that suggests that Joseph Hazelwood, Captain of the ill fated Exxon Valdez that spilled 11 million gallons of crude oil into Prince William Sound, actually improved the employment situation in Alaska the hunt for a female begins. Inside the Salty Dog, testosterone filled hunters, fishermen, crabbers, oil workers and woodsmen vie for the attention of the few females brave enough to stick out an Alaskan winter in this amazing land. Dress is informal: wool shirts and Carhartt overhauls accepted and many a black gum boot rubs against the sawdust floor. The few eligible women are sought after with a passion only outranked possibly by that reserved for the mighty halibut, those flat, oddly shaped, but divinely tasty fish.

To give you an idea of what qualities are sought after in a perfect “10”, one only has to look at the events held for the Wilderness Woman Contest which is organized by the Talkeetna Bachelor Society and held in Talkeetna, Alaska on the first weekend of December. The contest began in 1986 and is open to single women aged 21 or older. The winner gets a fur hat, a plaque, and sometimes a trip to Europe. The contest includes at least three timed events highlighting the skills that a Talkeetna bachelor would find most desirable in a woman. The events change from year to year, but have included: hauling firewood -fetching water -driving a snow-machine -harnessing a sled-dog team -catching fish -climbing a tree -shooting a moose or a ptarmigan -making a sandwich and opening a beverage for a reclining bachelor watching Sunday afternoon football on a simulated TV.

IN ALASKA YOU CAN’T HAVE TOO MANY DOGS-

Wherever you look in Alaska you see dogs. Most Alaskans have at least one dog, and if for some reason they have limited their canine companionship to one and few do, that factor is more than made up for by sheer size. Alaska is filled with huge dogs. There are dogs in cars, dogs in trucks usually jumping around in the pickup box, dogs in the front yard, dogs in the back yard, dogs in boats, dogs in planes, dog in parks. Most public buildings and businesses have a polite sign asking that you “PLEASE KEEP DOGS IN YOUR VEHICLES” in contrast to Florida where it is illegal to even leave your mutt in a parked car for a minute. When one considers the average winter temperature in much of the interior of Alaska is often 20 below zero, the term a “THREE DOG NIGHT” takes on a whole new meaning. No wonder there are so many dogs.

As we leave Alaska, we want to share with you some of our most cheerished scenes. Several visitors have tried to find the words to describe Alaska. Richard Nelson, a writer, cultural anthropologist and conservationist who has lived in Alaska for 25 years and participated in a PBS reinactment of the 1899 Harrimann Expedition, describes his inability to find the words:

“As a writer, I believe in the nearly magical capacity of words to communicate a sense for the beauty in our world. And yet, I cannot fathom how any human language could capture even the haziest sense for the grandeur and richness of the Alaska that we have experienced on this voyage. It isn't just language that fails, because I've also felt that my mind and my senses themselves are incapable of grasping what we have seen. Each day, the abundance and diversity of plant and animal life has made me feel like the witness to a renewing, expanding miracle. It has made me feel like a pilgrim in his own land, like a man who walks out the door, throws open his arms, and shouts for the joy of witnessing the world in his own back yard.”

Sara and I cannot find the words to describe Alaska either so we leave you with these scenes in one last look……….