Las Vegas is, according to several sources, the fastest growing city in the USA. When one arrives from the south, there are only two ways to enter. One is a highway that runs parallel with the Colorado River on the California side and the other is on the east shore of the same river but crosses at the mighty Hoover Dam. As we proceeded toward the dam, Sara recalled that she had read somewhere that all trucks and RVs were restricted at the dam due to security issues brought on by 9/11. The fact that hardly any trucks or RVs were come from the opposite direction only reinforced our fear and the thought of being turned back and having to drive over a hundred miles out of our way was disheartening. We spotted a trucker parked on an off ramp and asked him if we could pass over the dam. He assured us that we could after a 5 minute inspection at the Homeland Security checkpoint a few miles from the dam. He also said we should check our brakes as it was “damn steep and narrow”; no pun intended. I think that comment made Sara ready to turn around on the spot.

The security officers made us open all of the storage bins below the RV floor and did a quick walk through the interior. I was dressed in a sweat suit and Sara in her usual traveling outfit, a jeans jumper and between the both of us, we must have looked like Ma and Pa Kettle, a disguise that we hoped had not crossed the mind of any terrorist that had passed through recently.

If you have never seen the Hoover Dam, it certainly qualifies as one of the wonders of the world. There is enough concrete in its construction to build a two lane highway from San Francisco to New York and it is 660 ft thick at its base. It rises over 726 ft from the floor of the canyon and forms Lake Mead, one of the largest lakes in the country at 115 miles long, over 590 ft deep and containing 92 trillion gallons of water. The dam is so big the highway over it, while narrow, accommodates two lanes of traffic and two pedestrian pathways. As we crept across the dam, all 50 plus feet and over 13 ft high, Sara saw one tourist on the pathway turn and look at us, his face incredulous and heard him mouth the words, “Oh my God, Holy Shit”. We assume that he was not referring to our traveling attire but the size of the RV and we both wondered what the hell we were doing in this location, at this time, in this vehicle. A new bridge is being constructed south of the dam to eliminate both the bottle neck at the dam and potential bomb threats. As we crossed, we observed a white band, some fifteen feet high along the rocky shore of Lake Mead, like a bath tub ring in reverse color. It was a vivid reminder of the lack of moisture in the Southwest and made us wonder why the Colorado River doesn’t just dry up before it reaches the Rio Grande. Besides water and power for much of California and Nevada and all of Las Vegas, the Colorado supplies the water for countless cities including Phoenix and Tucson before reaching Mexico. In all it is the source of water for over 25 million people.

We crawled out of the valley, keeping on eye on the temperature gauges on the dash and entered Boulder City, NV. This town was built to house the 16 thousand dam builders during the many years of construction. Then we were on to Vegas.

I am not sure how many places have one street that seems to economically support an entire city, but if there is one, it is Vegas. As we drove from the southern end of Las Vegas Boulevard known as “The Strip” northward, our eyes were flooded with visions of the gleaming gold of Mandalay Bay Hotel, the giant Sphinx and pyramid of the Luxor, the castles of Excalibur, MGM Grand’s golden lion which is several stories high, the Statue of Liberty and a two block long skyline of New York New York, the pirate ship of Treasure Island and the Greek statues of Caesar’s Palace. There were giant TV screens constantly flashing images of lions, tigers and show girls. As we proceeded northward the names of the hotels and casinos became more familiar to occasional visitors like us. The Flamingo, Stardust and the Sands were names we could recognize and were featuring artists like Wayne Newton and Liberace; well maybe a Liberace impersonator. These establishments are not in their glory days anymore and seem just waiting to be bought out by foreign money, demolished only to become the site of a newer and better hotel casino with new and a better name. Celine Dion, Elton John and Ray Romano were playing but when you can’t recognize the names of most of the featured stars; you know you are getting old. What the hell is Carrot Top and what does it do?

The northern most end of the strip was the seediest. Where else in the world can you enjoy bikini bull riding, cold beer, nude mud wrestling, craps, bingo, Western BBQ, a $3.99 chicken fried steak breakfast served 24 hours a day and get married by simply driving thru and saying I do in the same block. That last opportunity will cost you a mere $299 dollars and includes your license, chapel, dress and tux, a rose bouquet for the bride and flower for the groom, video tape of the ceremony, 72 pictures on CD, limo service and the knowledge that you were married in the same chapel as Michael Jordan, Dennis Rodman, Joan Collins and Brittany Spears presumably not to each other in some bizarre ceremony.

Most of the popular shows like Elton John are sold out for months in advance but like everything else in Vegas, money and influence can get you anything. Many “sold out” show tickets are saved for patrons of the hotel that hosts that particular show, and if you spend enough money in a casino, your room, meals, limo and show tickets are all free. If you are a “high roller” the Strip is your “oyster” providing what ever you want.

Sara and I reviewed the shows and each picked out one to see if money were no object. Sara picked Elton only find out that we would have to stay in Vegas until Nov of 07 to get tickets or become high rollers, neither of which were much of an option. She then settled on the Drag and Female Impersonator Show with a promise from an enthusiastic lady she met in the laundry mat that all the “ladies” in the show, “showed it all” in the final act. Don opted for Zumanity, a sexy version of Cirque du Soleil where people in spandex do incredible things with their bodies. After checking ticket prices, we retired to the RV where Don donned his new spandex bike riding shorts and did three and half pushups and one leg lift. Modesty prevented him from “showing it all” however. So much for lust in the dust.

Sara and I are not your typical “rollers” and after spending $4.00 in quarters in one slot machine, we decided to call it quits. We used the strategy that if we kept plugging the same machine it would finally pay off, but determined that16 pulls of the handle probably aren’t enough. The guy in the next slot informed us that you could push the button instead of pulling the handle, a practice he for some reason took offense to. Each quarter was dedicated to a friend and none of you won. We would have sent the potential $5,000 jackpot to you, Really. It seems that every slot machine has a sensor built in that can tell when you are losing patience, then tempt you, only then to sense your greed building, tempt you one more time and then cut you off like a slice of baloney. The only machine Sara would feed quarters in after this disappointing venture was in the laundry mat.

Not qualifying for any free show tickets we just sat in a casino and people watched. There is nothing like a pregnant cocktail waitress in a mini skirt, low cut top and high heels walking through a sea of slot machines, calling out, “Cocktails, Cocktails” at ten in the morning to give you pause. Smoking bans in the casinos of Las Vegas are actually enforced but the din of the jangling of thousands of machines is deafening. Occasionally bells and whistles go off signifying a winner but not very often. No wonder breakfast is so cheap.

But, even then one to be careful. We had breakfast at a café in one of the casinos so confident that the prices would be low that we didn’t even check the menu. Well, $26 later we realized that while the short stack of pancakes, two eggs, toast and a small hash brown patty were good, the coffee wasn’t worth $3 a cup. So much for a cheap breakfast.

We met our older daughter Amy and her boyfriend Rick who are stayed at the Luxor for a wedding. No not theirs. We had a wonderful meal at Mandalay Bay's Rum Jungle which sport a two story wall of rums from all over the world and a meal that didn't seem to ever stop. There were over nine courses ranging from seafood to lamb to beef. It was delicious. After one last colorful night ride down the Strip, we called it quits. We decided that as the saying goes, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” and headed out the next morning. We later determined that all we left in Vegas was 16 quarters in the same slot machine and the contents of our gray and black water tanks……………………

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