From Don and Sara Schultz

http://upload.pbase.com/edit_gallery/ravenoaks/2006_king_mango_strut_parade_coconut_grove_fl

Sara and I often use the internet to plan what attractions we will visit in a given location. Coconut Grove in South Miami is the site of the famous Mango Strut Parade the last Sunday of each December. The parade is billed as the “Zaniest Parade in the Universe” and it lived up to its billing.

Past parades have included The Marching Chads, The League of Dead Voters, Office of Homeboys Security and the Mango Strut Parades own HAZMAT team that decontaminated the parade route of petrified dog poop, suspicious bubble gum and really ugly people, and Santi Claus who pointed out people in the crowd that had been naughty or nice.

This year’s parade began with the Mango Strut Princesses and the ashes of one of the parade’s founders who had passed away this past year but still planned to vote in the upcoming Miami elections. Paris Hilton was there inviting crowd members to join her on the float for a video shoot. Martha Steward showed the people lining the parade route how to decorate a 10 x 10 cubicle. The Battle of the Bulge included Viagra users who had been stiff for over 72 hours and Custer and his “last stand” sticking out of his pants. Scott Peterson was in a rolling electric chair declaring his innocence. There were remedies for those Floridians suffering from “Premature Evacuation”. Contraception “Sponge Bob” was there with his K-Y jelly in a caulk gun and many faces besides the Virgin Mary appeared in a cheese sandwich. Sara even got to pose under the title, "What would Chesus Do?” The parking meter fairies who have been rescuing people with expired meters in Miami were plugging the meters on the parade route and Theresa Kerry waved to the crowds shouting “Shove It” in six different languages. You could get whipped and abused and have your picture taken with your tormentors at “Abu Grab” prison. The NBA brawl was depicted as the Running of the Bullshitters who weaved their way in and out of the crowd. But by far the hit of the parade was the lady who had finally found Osama for President Bush.

We stood for entire parade and we both exhausted when we got home but it was well worth the effort. If you ever get a chance to see the Coconut Grove Mango Strut Parade, do it. You will not be sorry.

Double click on pics to enlarge.............