Finished door will be red with a half moon window at the top. Three bathtubs are in place. Windows are in place. Slider door at back looks good.

Lumber was delivered on Friday. I yelled "we got sticks!" Youngest son corrected me, "planks". Whatever, framing may start on Monday. This means I have to start packing right?

Snowy day in April.

A pretty sounding word. Two of them. It seems too high. Will the driveway go that far up? No flood worries, right?

First golden warm days today. Sneak, snuck are words that I use to tell about going out to play. Recess is a dirty word these days. Instructional minutes you know. Why in Japan they go to school on Saturdays. Then people write books about "nature deficit children". We had fun on the playground today. Did it for spite.

Snow has come early this year. Nothing major yet, mostly annoying. The light on this day was a glorious reprieve from the short days.

The weeds are taking over my garden. Lots of rain and gorgeous clouds the last few weeks though. Lots of mosquitos and a rat snake too.

Nothing terrible happened to us on this day. Poor Julius. Looking forward to some silliness on Monday, St. Patrick's day. The usual anticipation for spring has not come yet, maybe it is hiding around a corner.

Walking down the hall to a late professional development meeting is doing me in. Did the same pd a decade and a half ago. Makes sense to keep a doctor up to the latest techniques when removing an appendix, guess I should be updated too. I suppose. The engineer of this hall should have made it level.

Climbing and possibly falling are not on a list of things I like to do.

My baby brother and other siblings had this cake every holiday from my maternal grandmother. Probably was a very "generic" (that word didn't exist back then) recipe to Grammy but we thought the cake was like stepping into heaven.

Brown sugar and other mysterious and very plain ingredients cooked on the stove oh so very just so. Scraping the frosting from the plate after the cake was gone we were all guilty of.

I made it again today, well yesterday in quite a hurry. One of the next generation exclaimed some complements about it. Not sure whether they really thought it was good or whether or not... don't care going for another piece right now and hoping to keep it a secret from my eleven year old son who likes it too.

You know, other people would have pictures of themselves and the new baby or the presents or whatever, but my baby brother and I had a picture taken of us with THE CAKE.

Really rude to me to time the beginning of global warming with my menopause years. We finally had some crunchy frosty ground this morning, I actually put on a sweatshirt.

Ronald always visits on the red truck to bring in October and Fire prevention month. September is a most beautiful month that I am never able to appreciate or enjoy.

Ronald does not want anyone to see him without his makeup. I've stopped wearing it though it still sits on my bathroom shelf waiting.

Bifocals, progressive lenses, fancy coatings, light titanium frames. It's a plot, it's a plot to steal all my money. Can't tell which is conditioner and which is shampoo in the shower, someone should invent glasses for the shower.

Old eyes suck.

One kid turned eleven years old today. And I figured out that the other young ones have had strep throat infections eleven times since last October. I believe October is the tenth month. It is the sixth month.

I'm so tired tonight and this week and probably next week, that numbers are swirling.

one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish. Let summer come but not too fast. Slow the numbers down.

I think this was a song by Roy Rogers or someone else.

I have a friend who is dieing from ovarian cancer. This totally sucks for all the women who are going through this.

Words just don't come to make any sense out of this.

The irises and weeds are coming up strong and...

Angry and sorry are vocab words next week. Appropriate timing somehow.

Went to the atm at the Credit Union on Sunday, parking lot was empty and barren. We saw a duck dad in the handicap space. Duck momma was over near the bushes, could not see her at first.

We've checked every day since to make certain that they did not make their nest near the ATM.

We also have mice in our garage and kitchen. Cat is not doing her cat things like catching the mice. These must be signs of spring.

A case of you

Just before our love got lost you said

I am as constant as a northern star

And I said, constant in the darkness

Wheres that at?

If you want me Ill be in the bar

On the back of a cartoon coaster

In the blue tv screen light

I drew a map of where we were

Oh where we were

And your face sketched on it twice

Oh you are in my blood like holy wine

Oh and you taste so bitter but you taste so sweet

Oh I could drink a case of you

I could drink a case of you darling

And I would still be on my feet

Oh Id still be on my feet

Oh I am a lonely painter

I live in a box of paints

Im frightened by the devil

And Im drawn to those ones that aint afraid

I remember that time that you told me, you said

Love is touching souls

Surely you touched mine

Cause part of you pours out of me

In these lines from time to time

Oh you are in my blood like holy wine

And you taste so bitter but you taste so sweet

Oh I could drink a case of you

I could drink a case of you darling

Still Id be on my feet

And still be on my feet

I met a woman

She had a mouth like yours

She knew your life

She knew your devils and your deeds

And she said

Color go to him, stay with him if you can

Oh but be prepared to bleed

Oh but you are in my blood youre my holy wine

Oh and you taste so bitter, bitter and so sweet

Oh I could drink a case of you darling

Still Id be on my feet

Id still be on my feet

Joni

I can't pick just four pictures. It's too hard.

Four has always been a friendly number for me but it is not working. Just do the picking and get it over with, I know. Can't make decisions and then when they are made an orgasmic feeling overcomes after it is done.

Come on she says, I am waiting for my friend to come outside to play. It's December but it might as well be spring, the weather is so warm.

Tomorrow I will choose. There is always tomorrow.

Most days it is dark down in the box in the basement in the old hutch. It's warm and dry and snug. No bugs to mention and no loud noises. Lack of disturbances is desired by many but when this is all you have it get's pretty much the same and without stimulation.

Anyway, today was our big day, should not complain. She opened the old heavy drawer and grabbed the box. The loud sounds were a delight. Unwrapped the tissue paper and pulled us out. We didn't even mind the hot water and suds to remove the dust that had creeped into our being.

We are still sitting on the table even after the tablecloth has been thrown into the laundry with food crud waiting to be washed.

Tomorrow most likely we will go back.

Long napping. Her oft-wanted dream. Today was fun, she even put us in front of her camera.

Aren't there anymore days we can come out?

Shortest day of the year. Longest day in many other respects. Where's my treat? How come the other class gets to play today? Why didn't we get to wear our pajamas to school? It is not a fair world.

Just managed to catch the sun as it disappeared down the horizon across the street from my house. Daddy would say that when you are down there is no way to go but up. Now the days will get longer.

No snow here, just rain and mushy ground. What the heck will the kids do with the sleds they are getting for Christmas? Wait for snow, of course.

Just like the rest of us. Waiting for the good stuff and the good moment.

All this time alive and still haven't figured out or collected the biochemistry necessary to know that every moment is all that we have.

Is it spring yet?

Ten years ago, I had finished my last day of school in anticipation of the birth of my son. It was a scheduled c-section, my third so I knew the birthday already. I had two kids, this new one would be the third. I had six dogs and a few cats. A stray dog came into our yard and initiated a dog fight in which my beloved sheltie took much pain. The vet saved her that weekend and my oldest kid babied her while I gave birth. It was a weekend to remember. Pack behavior in dogs is an amazing event.

Today I have seven kids and two dogs and one cat. And lots of bikes in the garage. Most are cheap Huffy's and store brands.

Ten years from now, I envision no dogs, maybe the cat who won't get off my lap now, a different job and less guilt.

First born and oldest sister came over today. Always a special moment. She managed to fix the PS2 memory card disaster. I knew that 82kb was smaller than 8MB but had not the background knowledge to address the meltdown of two days ago. She always has this uncanny way of fixing things and making them smooth.

The picture is of the youngest sister up against oldest sister's knee.

Comforting.

Things I did today;

Mowed the front, side and back yards. Cleaned out the riding mower blade

deck, lots of old grass and crud inside.

Used the trim mower on the side yard and back yard. Mulched down the green

bean plants.

Removed tomato baskets from dead plants. Brought up to garage for winter

storage.

Emptied bags of leaves that kids gathered last week and put them on the

garden for mulch.

Took a few pictures of garden and various pretty weeds in yard.

Planted 12 tulip bulbs and 48 small Iris bulbs, the Irises were done

quickly. Watered them as directions said after planting.

Washed both dogs, treated both dogs ears and trimmed mats from both.

Did approximately 6 loads of laundry, can't remember exactly how many.

Washed kids bedding that they took to slumber thing last night, smelled suspect.

Washed all dog bedding and replaced.

Made 48 cupcakes for birthday girl to take to school tomorrow for her birthday in

school. Packaged them and put them in car for transit.

Prepared insurance claim for flu shot, addressed envelope.

Did lesson plans and parent letter for the week.

Bathed and/or supervised showers for all five kids.

Put away some of the dried laundry.

Made dinner, baked chicken, rice with broccoli and garlic bread. Did dishes

after.

Made three lunches and mine. Two are having school lunches

tomorrow.

Did one more load of laundry with kids clothes, they were near to a

neighbor's leaf fire and all their clothes smell of smoke.

I am sitting down to the computer and hoping to have no interruptions during

Desperate Housewives.

I have rarely done impulsive acts and have always suffered the grief of to do or not to do.

Not so this child. He's teaching me and I'm teaching him some dance of balance.

He put his lip on a bare lightbulb in a small table lamp much abused by various children here.

I asked him why he thought that might be a thing to do. I put no adjective "good" or "bad" before the word thing, just wanted to know his thoughts.

The same day a good friend sent him this shirt.

My oldest son once put his tongue on the freezer container in the local grocery market. That's another story but similar experience.

The kids noticed the frost on the ground this morning, it was lovely despite our feelings of agony and pain at having to get up, get ready and get going for school. The white on the green was striking. I've been covering up my Morning Glories on the fence with an old blanket but this won't work for long, the edges of the glories are marked with the future.

Before something comes new, something else must die a frosty end. How to reconcile the flames of beauty, glory and short time? Each year they are more beautiful than the last even when the weather is not kind and they are small in response.

If you could keep them, freeze them as they are, the beauty would not be as striking, the absence and time in between is what we forget and cherish.

Lighting spread across our skies this morning, we left for school in the pitch dark and pouring warm rain. It thunderboomed all morning as my computer weather alert went crazy up and down.

We discussed security at our staff meeting after school in regards to all the crazy new items this week. I thought the kids were actually in more danger waiting at the bus stops this morning standing under a tree with their shiny metal umbrellas. But they all made it safe to school and safe home.

The sky opened up in spite of the clouds and we saw some late day sun, this after a way too late nonsensical meeting.

All weekend I was planning to write about the massive time I've spent waiting at red lights this week, too much driving. But then the weekend came and a cold followed me. Had a 102 temp on Saturday morning, so after medicating with Miller Lite, which I should not have done, I did nothing much. Little brother looked at me and said, "are you going to have another baby?" (does he associate illness with pregnancy? too much tv, I suppose.)

Big brother said, "no way, five is enough kids. We don't want to be like those

people who had twelve, you know, Cheaper by the Dozen?"

Little brother, said, "yeah".

Kids played flag football, big sister came and got them and saved me, again. Today I was going to lay down the law or holler alot and make them clean but decided against that as well.

They watched Spy Kids for the millionth time and made messes and enjoyed their day. Tomorrow is "ghoul" as the little brother says, he has trouble with his beginning sounds. Loved Bree's description of an orgasm, too, too funny.

How did it get to be fall so quick? Spring will be quicker, right?

I was asked this way too early (for me) this morning. As I was helping kids get started on their day and finishing their school breakfasts and ordering lunches and taking attendance and assigning student account numbers to classroom computers to new teachers and greeting sleepy children and their parents.

I try to be patient and polite but I know I had a very glazed over look on my face. Wolf Awareness? Huh? There is something I should know about wolves this early in the morning? Surely all the wolves are sleeping in now as all the little human children are back in school and the zoo keepers and farmers are doing something for the wolves. Aren't they?

October sometime is Wolf Awareness week. Do I have any plans? Actually I am still wondering how I am going to teach the kidlets how to do centers and discern who knows their sight words and who is ready to read Dickens/Tolstoy, I have no plans to raise awareness for wolves at this moment in the morning.

We did see some Mexican wolves at Binder Park this summer, did they know that October was their awareness week?

Probably just a collision of brains that are still in sleep modes.

I have really tried to play with you each day this summer. Fall is going to be a bleak season for you in terms of playmates.

It's back to school for all the noisy humanoids here and this means that you will have the house to yourself in much quiet and peace. There will be two young adults coming to let you out to do whatever you have to, but they will not be interested much in playing with you. Their pressures will lie in respective other halves and in pleasing mom.

September, October, November and December are the bear months. We will make it though.

Kids won't go to sleep. Planets seem out of alignment.

Twenty four years ago, my dad passed away. Mowed the lawn, painted another half of the deck. Played with the pool filter. Dog ran laps around the backyard darkness. Cat keeps jumping up on my lap.

Kids are still awake. Words are not coming out. No details in my moon shot either. But you could really see a face up there tonight.

at the pool. Saved this poor one from an onslaught of human children. Told them how good spiders are and how they take the pesty bugs away. I watched him/her as he/she climbed up that silk to the treated wood deck above. Do hope he/she is safe tonight for one more day.

Summer is half over, how does this happen faster and faster each year. Heat was entirely oppressive today. Went swimming again, hoping that the kid's burgeoning swimmer's ear will not drive us to the doctor's office tomorrow. Beans are great and tasty, the sunflowers are still not here, the tomatoes are still green, so summer is still with promise.

Sleeping late is such a sensuous thing.

Tomorrow is the longest day of the year. My absolute favorite day. The most daylight hours. A climax.

Here is the garden one day before solstice. Beans that we will hopefully eat for a few weeks, tomatoes that we will eat until we are tired of them and sunflowers galore that I will take pictures of. Cucumbers are hiding somewhere.

I tried to conquer the weeds and did win a preliminary battle of sorts but there are still some hardy ones standing screaming and laughing, ha you missed me, I'm still here. That's okay, we can coexist as long as you don't take the tomatoes glory. The tomatoes say hi to daddy and Karl.

Amazing energy the young sunflowers have, some young scientist will learn how to transfer this someday after I am a memory to the beautiful yellow and red flowers.

Seen and photographed at Lowes tonight before dark. Very cool evening for June. The Lowes man said that my landscaping timber could not be cut in half by his saw machine. How can this be? Is not Lowes supposed to be my garden destination for all needs?

Heavy bags of mulch and peat and rowdy kids. Home to watch old Harry Potter after gumballs at Blockbuster.

Such is life.

had to be inside the door and spoil the reflection in this spontaneous picture. I am always fussing at the kids to put the packs in the appropriate after-school location. Most of my days are comprised of putting objects in their appropriate place.

So hoping that this weekend will be one in which I can have the satisfaction of getting done the things I envision to be in their appropriate places.

Crap, that reads so artificial. May I get a nap, may the vacuum pick up all crud, the flowers stand tall with bright colors and the light be just right.

May I not care or notice where any backpacks are (nor may they spoil my pictures) for s e v e n t y - t w o hours.

Neighbor gave him a fishing rod today. He's been asking for one for some weeks time. Don't know if the neighbor heard these fishing wishes but today the rod appeared.

He spun the filament out into the sky and managed to get it caught in the neighbor's budding tree. Lost the old forty-two cent bobber and melted into tears. Neighbor duct taped a rake and broom together and got the bobber down. Showed him how to tie a fisherman's knot, wrap the line five times and bring through this hole into the other.

More excited-ness got the line and bobber onto the telephone line in our yard. Mom rescued this one down.

WHETHER or not this fishing rod and line is put through the old ceilings of our living or bedrooms remains to be seen.

Such a moment. Hope the fish at the local lake are carefully guarding their bold, trusting and unsuspecting young hatcheries tonight.

is moms day. We drew pictures of our moms, talked about the things we thought were cool about moms. Had a hard time separating what our moms did with what our moms "are". Moms are just supposed to do things for us, right?

I told the kids about how the most I missed was not being able to touch my mom, her skin was so so very soft. AND how I missed hearing her voice. For years whenever I would be upset, I would automatically go to the telephone to attempt to call and hear her voice. Couldn't do that.

Tomorrow is township dump day.

Getting rid of memories.

Sunday we will hit the buffet for fun and more memories.

Used to be in bars on Saturday night. Still love that dark dusky smell and view of seventies shag carpeting on the wall of the dives.

But tonight the fingernails and shoes are green from the lawn, almost all of the kids are sleeping. Ann Wilson is singing an old Heart saga, cat is on the lap, waiting for food, dogs are spewing hair somewhere.

When I see this picture I hear the guitar opening to Van Halen's Jump and then David Lee Roth's voice.

"When Krissie comes back we get to drive!"

Spirits jump sky high and higher when Krissie is spotted in the driveway, her black Chevy careening off the road. Homework battles cease, melt into not even memory.

Voices rise, choruses of we did this Krissie, we did that Krissie. Krissie, I want to TELL you something.

I still curse my reality of Krissie not letting me sleep through for more than three hours at one time period for the first two plus years of her life. And more blessing the inspiration given from Krissie to do this and that and this and more.

My absolute center of gravity lifts when I see that black Chevy too.

Dollar store is gone, but the Carousel is still going round. The crane machines are crying for quarters. McDonald's keeps churning out french fries. Lindsay Lohan looks so lucious in those high above ads for her new movie. Lawn mower is back-ordered so we actually trekked to two malls in nearby metropolis' today. Found a Dollar tree in Battle Creek to top the day. Riding mower smoked and died. Weed wacker refused to wack. While searching for size 8 husky toughskins, which the kind clerk said are no long made in big boys size, a nice lady presented me with a $5 off coupon for the beauty salon.

Geez, I need a make-over, where the hell is TY and his extreme crew? And I have five kids in tow who would never sit while I am made over.

Coupon is in my back pocket, grass is tall in the backyard, trim mower is in the back of the van, too heavy to get out. Oldest and most honored son is coming to apply muscles tomorrow.

Saturdays are good.

Fingers are too dirty to model for Parents Magazine. So cookie thief is the more likely premise. Homework was driving her nuts, so I made some quick bake cookies. Fuel to estimate and do lattice multiplication.

Math homework is becoming impossible. My first strategy is to get the calculator, though I know the objective is to teach thinking and organizational skills.

If the train leaves the station and Jane is baking cookies for seven children, how many cookies will each child get if the train is traveling at 85 miles per hour and gets to the station at 7:35 P.M and all the children are waiting?

If all of the children have adequately washed their hands, how many fingers will actually touch the plate of cookies? Will there be any cookies left for the baker?

I loved that book, "If you Meet Buddah in the Road, Kill Him."

Took the troups down the road today for a walk. They still think this is such an adventure. About three years from now, I won't be able to get them to go. There is a pony farm and goat place about a mile from where we live. The goats were mildly excited thinking that we had brought something to eat. Sorry, I wouldn't let the kids touch them. Last day of vacation today, how did it go so fast.

My lawn has the nerve to be growing, those blades of daring grass should know that the battery to the lawn tractor is still inside the house and the wacker is nowhere near the charge.

Nine more weeks til summer vacation.

Shouldn't be the first place after the dentist appointment. While the flouride is still flowing. But this is where we went. A dozen donuts down quick and wanting still more. But mom said no. Six more months till we see the dentist again.