406
Phew. Caught up at last, and not a moment too soon, otherwise I may have missed these two small gentlemen apparently sizing up my neigbour's garden. I suspect that they are up to no good because they seem to have left a trail of destruction in their wake, with at least another six or seven gnomes being left lying, half-buried, in the rose border. One of them seems to have hurt his neck somewhere - perhaps one of his victims scored a hit before being turned into rose compost. I'm not sure which is the boss of the two, but I suspect the small one is the brains of the outfit - careful not to get personally involved, instead letting cut-neck do all the dirty business. Of course, I may be wrong about them: they could just as easily be on the look out for a new place to call their gnome. They might be gnomads, just passing through, or even Gnomanian tourists looking for a good view of the Sidlaws. Whatever. I shall be keeping a wary eye on them. Just finished watching the Belarus v. Scotland match and am bemused at just how far our expectations have fallen when we can call a 0-0 draw against a country that didn't even exist 15 years ago a good result. Belarus were pretty poor, but we were atrocious, and they are saying that this is a much improved performance from those we experienced when Berti Vogts was in charge! Well, I suppose it was, but that says more about just how awful Scotland were - we're only slightly less bad now, but that still doesn't make us a good team. I had to laugh at John Collins and Gordon Smith: we are lucky to scrape a goalless draw against Belarus by playing a ten man defence, with one lone striker, and these pundits seem to think that we are capable of beating Italy in September. The only way we will beat Italy is if the Italian coach decides to field a team of drunk, one-legged, blind 80 year-olds and give us a 5 goal start... and even then I'd still put my money on Scotland losing by two own goals!

Last year Liam was pretending to be Denis the Menace