224. LETTER TO THE EDITOR

Dundee, 30 November 2004

Sirs,

On this fine St Andrew's Day morning I decided to take the airs and amble down into the centre of the city where I had hoped to take some photographs of our fine flag proudly flying in the air above that wonderful example of Scottish vernacular architecture, the Auld Steeple. Imagine my disappointment when I discovered that there was nary a breeze, and only one Saltire hanging limply in the still air. In vain I searched for other public buildings displaying this once proud nation's banner. The City Chambers had the flags of all the European Union nations on display, with the Union flag at the centre, yet there was no sign of the Saltire, not even one hanging its head in shame. The Bank of Scotland, one of the oldest banks in Britain and a national institution, which has been taken over by a Building Society that is named after a Yorkshire town, has apparently forgotten its previous status and, in place of the expected Saltire, was displaying a white flag with a large black 'X' on it. One cannot but venture to suggest that Rabbie Burns would be spinning in his grave if he knew that we remain governed by 'sic a parcel of rogues'.

With there being little prospect, because of the lack of any wind, of seeing the solitary Saltire available for display in Dundee actually on display, I desisted and instead sat in the City Square where I ate a sandwich and sipped on that most American of imports, a Cafe Latte to Go. Oh how I miss the days of chicory coffee and currant buns! Life was so simple then, and the breeze blew on demand.

On the bus home, I was both shocked and disgusted to hear two teenage girls, who really ought to have been at school, sitting having a very loud conversation in which every other word was f**k, or derivatives thereof. I have in the past confronted these uncouth tykes, only to be rewarded with a torrent of expletives. This time I, like all the other passengers (and, if his driving was anything to go by, the driver too), buried my head in my newspaper. Once these charming little 'darlings' left the omnibus, those remaining sighed a sigh of relief and shrugged their shoulders at it all. What has become of us?, I pondered. A sizeable proportion of our young people have no respect for anyone or anything, our politicians lie to us, our business leaders sell us out, and our local administrators make lobotomised cattle seem intelligent. I think I may have to emigrate.

Yours etc., absolutely shocked and generally disappointed,

Lt. Col. (RA-Ret.) Sir Ramsey Huffington-Buffington-MacGregor of that Ilk, KFC KGB CIA FBI CID BYOB G&T (bar) RSVP HMV BhS B&Q DIY DOA RIP
(By carrier pigeon)