Deep down in my heart I know I’m a very lucky person, even though I am struggling to recognise that at the moment. That’s because I have the things that most people crave – a loving family and a group of wonderful friends who care for me too. In my current state, I know too that I am risking losing the very things that make me so lucky because I am pretty much ignoring and neglecting all of these vitally important people in my world.

In the small group of my very dearest friends, one has also been struggling with depression – I’ve not spoken to him since before Christmas. One of my friends has had major surgery and I’ve not contacted her to see how she is. One of my friends has a mother who has also undergone very major surgery and she too has been totally neglected by me. That’s not to mention all of the friends and family who are phoning (and I never phone back) and emailing (and I’m ignoring emails too) and writing to me. I’m barely acknowledging their existence at the moment.

So, I know that I’m the cackest friend on the planet and I know that you all deserve more and better treatment from me. Friendship with me at the moment boils down to a not-very-rewarding experience. It's not at all the two-way thing that it should be. I hope that one day soon I’ll resume “normal” relations and start to pick up the phone or drop an email……….

last year, I was reflecting on the lifelong value of service.