Yesterday I posted a photo of a fake flower. Today is a new day and this flower may be pretty unassuming but it is, I assure you, exquisite. Sadly almost all of the people who see this will never get to sample its charms because they are triggered by another sense – smell. Get up close, poke your hooter into its frilly parts and you will be rewarded by a scent so powerful and so heady that your first response will be “WOW”. I know this to be true because I have shoved my own nose in and said “WOW”, I’ve also shoved both my DM and Claz’s DM into it and they both went “WOW”. Now you see, this may only be a sample of three but it’s three out of three and that’s the sort of sample size that L’Oreal seems to think is big enough to make all sorts of huge claims about their anti-wrinkle creams, make-up and other products from their evil repertoire.

So I apologise for showing you a glimpse of something whose charms you can only imagine but think on – next time you buy a rose bush for yourself or anyone else for that matter, choose a good old-fashioned variety that smells of rose. You won’t be disappointed and you’ll encourage rose growers to do the right thing and concentrate on the rosy values that made us a nation of rose lovers.

Does that classify as my first rant of May? I do hope so because otherwise I’d have to work really hard to find one for tomorrow.