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10-AUG-2002 John Cross Photography

Site of Alien Ritual

Klarsh 0852AP.jpg

Although this looks like a high school prank perpetrated on my son Robert, it is actually the site of some alien ritual that was staged in our yard. There are many things to note in this scene. First of all, the tall green thing is oriented to the west pointing straight toward Utah (Whoa, who would have thunk that). Agent Listorama needs to take note of the fact when (if) he returns from communing with the sandstone in (you guessed it!) Utah. Secondly, on the far right above the shard of cloth is the unmistakable burn mark left by the (hopefully!) accidental discharge of a Fratostatic aura pulse reverter. The two naked figures are some sort of weird alien voo doo dolls who resemble the ideal human teens Ken and Barbie. They were marked up as though the might have had a visit to Miami Ink (but that connection is another story that presumably LeeG can tell better than most, even though he lives in California). Also note the presence of some striped cotton cloth. That is believed to be the cast off garment of the alien head honcho priest. It is their custom to use such ceremonial garments only once. Its presence here indicates that there was insufficient time for the ceremonial burning of the garments and mazzola party that tops off such rituals. If you should happen upon such a site you must be warned that they are often booby trapped with state of the art endoplasmic recticulum inverters which are set to inflict great pain without any visible damage to humans.

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Dave Beedon24-Nov-2007 20:55
I am perfectly willing to be the alleged butt of jokes as long as it enhances our chances of winning The Battle. Still haven't determined the significance of "Utah."
jCross06-May-2007 14:26
Good point. Kinda spooky, though. Listorama spoors sounds a little off center, you know what I mean.
Guest 05-May-2007 07:15
I hate to point this out but may be a Listorama Spore: check out the resemblance http://www.pbase.com/listorama/image/55247933
jCross29-Mar-2007 15:04
Could be a ruse, might be a kanga as well.
Dave Beedon28-Mar-2007 21:45
During my March 2007 foray into the land of sandstone I witnessed many "green things" but nothing like this. The alignment problem is something that deserves extensive analysis: why is the thing pointing toward Utah? Could it be that it is actually pointing "away from Houston" and that the Utah connection is a ruse? The reference to a fratostatic aura pulse reverter is troubling. I can say no more.
Agent Listorama
jCross18-Mar-2007 00:47
Reverse abduction, never thought of that. I gotta think about it. I am going to try it if I get a chance.
Guest 17-Mar-2007 21:34
wow! looks like it may also be the site of a reverse abduction. instead of the aliens taking one of us, we took him and subjected him to various pop icons of americana and lots of budweiser....
John Cooper17-Mar-2007 20:57
Incredible, speechless, is what I am.