The Food network has a show called "The Best Thing I Ever Ate" in which their various stars are filmed emoting about some fancy ass restaurant that serves poached tofu cooked to perfection served on a bed of arugula with a little bit of this and a little bit of that yadda yadda yadda. Now, my sons will vouch for this, the very best pork ribs in the universe are at Goings Barbeque in Baytown, Texas. This place isn't fancy (understatement) but they sure do make ribs. One of the things I wanted to try with my new barbeque was ribs. Today it happened.

I had spent hours reding about how to cook these things. I started with "Serious Barbeque" and read all about it. I then searched the web for more information. I found a lot of stuff on websites where the people looked like they were kin of the Beverly Hillbillys. I figured this kind of stuff was probably useful. I went to the foodnetwork.com site and searched "bbq ribs". This is what I got: "Pepper Crusted Bone in Rib-Eye with Tomato-Cilantro Relish and Bbq Red Onions and Texas Toast" I told you these guys were tofu eaters. And this was from Bobby Flay, the cook of "Boy Meets Grill" fame.

So back to the story. Ginny and I went to Kroger to get some ribs. We ran into Pat there. Her daughter Becca was there as well. Becca worked at Kroger for a while and got to know the people pretty well. They directed me to Wayne the butcher. I asked Wayne for some help choosing from the various cuts on the meat counter. His advice was simple: "Pick the ones with the most meat and don't screw around trying to remove the membrane." This latter advice was good because I had found videos about how to remove the membrane, all warning that it was critical. He then said how to cook it "Low and slow, about 6-8 hours and wrap it for a few hours. Put some brown sugar on it when you wrap it." It was astounding, Wayne told me all I have to know in three sentences!

Again, back to the story. I prepared two slabs of ribs and commenced to cook and smoke. I kept the cooker at 250F and didn't peek for the first two hours. I called Ginny and asked her if she wanted to participate in the first peek. Of course she wanted to, girls are very curious and want to see everything. When we opened the cooker this is what we were greeted with. Two beautiful and smoky slabs of ribs just cooking away over the heat. It was a sight to behold, and I grabbed another beer just to celebrate the occasion.

I ended up cooking these dudes for 7 hours. Pat came over to help us eat them. I cut them up and put them on the table, and the three of us ate a whole slab without coming up for air. They were really good. I called Food Network and asked if they wanted to come over and shoot some film. The declined because the Champions of Tofu tournament was being filmed and they didn't have a spare camera.

OK, the real question is how they stacked up against Goings ribs. You have to understand that I am an honest and impartial judge. I decided that Iron Chef Goings won this competition. My ribs were great, but I think I had a bit too much "stuff" on them. Next time I will triumph.