Once God was walking hither and yon, to and fro, with His hands folded behind His back contemplating the Earth He had created.
“I think I shall make a special place!” He thought. “A place of great heat and humidity, where man’s brains will leak from their ears ...
and their eyeballs will bulge ridiculously from the sockets from the pressure inside their heads. A place where if a man wants to take a bath and be cool ...
he must first remove giant lizards from the tub, where snakes will curl in the hallways of their homes, ...
where giant roaches will scuttle and skittle on the walls at night keeping all the people awake. There will be giant Banana Spiders ...
as big as saucers hanging from invisible webs in the trees ... and man will tangle himself in those webs while mowing the lawn ...
and We will laugh in great humor and delight as they slap and beat and pummel themselves silly trying to knock the huge eight legged creatures
from their heads and shoulders. This place will have sand too hot to walk on that shall make little children cry from the pain, ...
and the same sand will get in the hair and butt cracks of all the pretty young women that try to live there.
Sweat will fall like raindrops from the armpits and brows of man as they try to live through yet another day.
I shall call this place Hell.
No, … wait a minute. That name’s taken.
I shall call this place ... Florida.”

So it was said. So it was done. And it was good.

October 2nd, not even nine forty five in the morning, and already over eighty degrees.
It takes a man’s man to live here, …
but enough is enough!