Absolutely Done

There are so many levels of done.
The "She doesn't want to be married" kind
The "Packing her shit" kind
The "Where the hell is the toaster" kind
The "Boat is sold" kind
The "Moved out" kind
The "Beer in the house" kind
The "Walking alone in Newport" kind
The "Mt. Monadnock / Pizza barn" kind
The "Red Hair" kind
The "Broadway Trip" kind
The "New Truck" kind
The "Sold Lens" kind
The "Wedding top hat thrown in the ocean" kind
The "No color project" kind
The epiphany of "The Full Color Project" kind
The "Ambush for the keys" kind
The "Exposed" kind (that was scary)
The "Drunken Rage" kind
The "First date with someone new" kind
The "Thanksgiving! with family" kind
The "Lock Project" kind
The "Called me from the VET????" kind
The "Fingers on the divorce day" kind
The "Joy" kind (thanks Joy)
The "Divorce is final" trip kind
The "Wedding Certificate Tube in the ocean" kind

Yeah, just all kind of levels of done.
However, today marks a new one.
I am not sure what I will call this one.
The "I never have to talk to the bitch again" kind of done?
The "Go Fuck Yourself Bitch" kind of done?
Yes, there are all kinds of things I could call this.
You see, I finally called her and forced a final decision
on the outstanding tax stuff that she had delayed.
As of now we are in agreement that everything is done.
There is NOTHING outstanding to be done.
We are absolutely done with the divorce.
The only reason I called her is because May 6th is coming.
I wanted this decision done before that date.
May 6th is exactly a year from her sitting down on the couch.
May 2nd marks the day we are Absolutely Done.

I celebrated the doneness by going out with a friend and golfing.
So that is the kind of done this is.
This is the "Thank goodness for caller ID" kind of done.
This is the "I will never answer your crazy phone call" kind of done.
This is the "If you feel the need to contact me, call my lawyer" kind of done.
This is the "Not without a court order" kind of done.
This is the awesome "Absolutely Fucking Done" kind of done.

Oh, and PS to my ex-fucking wife, I canceled MY comcast account.
(nobody else will get that, but I assure you, it is pretty funny to me)
That is just a little "Fuck you" as a parting gift.
I was going to wait until May 6th as an anniversary gift,
but I decided to give it to you early.
Yes, it is just THAT kind of done.