It seems that the media hysteria over the impending apocalypse has been replaced by a reasoned attempt to blame the appearance of the H5N1 avian flu virus in the United Kingdom on the French and/or Germans. With none of the other dead birds from within the WBRA being found to have the deadly virus, it is becoming increasingly likely that the infected swan found at Cellardyke was an isolated case, and that it must have washed up from an already affected zone. Rumours are beginning to take hold that on the night before the discovery of the infected corpse, voices speaking in foreign languages - believed to be French and German - were heard coming from boats hidden in the dark of night in the Firth of Forth somewhere between Anstruther and the Isle of May. Local nursing home resident, 126-year old Sir Ramsey Huffington-Buffington-MacGregor, a hero of the Boer War in which he was wounded with a blow to the head whilst serving as a drummer boy with the Queen's Own 51st Old Course Caddies, told the BBC that "those bloody foreign cheps are up to no bloody good". Sir Ramsey claims that his longevity is due to having a 'snifter' of fine port each day to accompany his Havana cigar; that and an intense hatred of anything foreign (apart from fine ports and Cuban cigars). In the meantime, the Ministry for Unclassified Pathogenic Pestilence and Environmental Threats (MUPPETs) has issued this new poster showing everyone exactly what a goose looks like.