I was reminded of my promise to elaborate on pole dancing this morning because I read a story about Kate Moss on popbitch and of course it is she who pole dances on the White Stripes video.

This is of course completely staged so Mum, you don’t need to worry, my tongue is planted firmly in my cheek as I write this!

We’ve spent a good deal of time lately contemplating a few things, firstly just how much disposable income seems to be about at the moment, 10Ds and D100s are seemingly ten-a-penny on PBASE, many with very fancy posh lenses too. We see youngsters in souped up Corsas and Fiestas everywhere we go and there are new houses going up all over the place because people seem to be keen to pay premium prices rather than live somewhere anyone else has lived before.

The increase in new-build housing in our area has been going up rapidly since the government decided that it needed to encourage developers because they felt we needed millions more houses in the south east of England, despite chronic congestion and overcrowding already. Every time we drive along any local road there are yellow signs pointing out the latest batch of ‘luxury’ homes for people to spend huge sums of money on.

The specs of these houses also seem to be increasing with every new release. Gone are the days of a three-bedroomed semi having only one bathroom (shock horror), now they’ve all got a minimum of two and sometimes even three bathrooms. They’ve got fitted this and that and all sorts of nonsense that for donkeys years people have lived quite happily without yet now are clamouring to own.

We were idly speculating what would be the next ‘must-have’ item in a new build Barratt (or Charles Church, or Taylor Woodrow or whoever) home and we came to the conclusion there was only one thing left for people to covet and hanker after – that one thing? A pole so that the bored suburban couple can have live pole dancing in the bedroom as often as they desire. Which of course is more-or-less never if you listen to the stories of many married couples!!! Interestingly I don’t think it’d have quite such charm if Kate Moss wasn’t the dancer and as most of us are miles away from looking as good as she does then I think it’d get neglected pretty soon in favour of a return to lights out!

So, when you see that first ‘elegant’ new four bedroomed detached home set in charming surroundings offering this latest new must-have accessory, remember where you heard it first!