Real life begins for me again today with the homecoming of David from Le Mans. He’s not here yet but will be soon, he’s on the ferry as I type.

It’s important for me to try to explain this because it’s not as if I’ve not had a grand old time for the last five days. I’ve actually had loads of fun and have thoroughly enjoyed myself. BUT, the fun has been empty. It’s always with the caveat that I’d have had even more fun if he’d been here.

My first night alone was little more than a couple of hours – they didn’t go till after 10pm, my second a ‘girlie night’ in as much as I did girlie stuff like doing my hair and since then Colin has been here and we’ve done loads of stuff. We’ve been to a fab restaurant, been shopping (yes, I actually have some new clothes to show for a trip out shopping on Saturday), we’ve done gardening, lounging around, watching footie, talking to Jeanne and all sorts of other stuff that I’ve forgotten. I’m sure I won’t offend Colin if I say that no matter how much I have enjoyed the weekend, I just kept thinking…..’oh, I wish DM was here’.

I’m very capable of entertaining myself or making sure I spend my time with people who entertain me. Let’s face it, I’ve had a whole adult lifetime of entertaining myself and surrounding myself with those who can do the job if I’m not in the mood or if I’m in need of company. I’ve had years to perfect the skill of social interaction, giving me the wherewithal to enjoy myself with the people I’m with and enjoy myself when I’m not too.

The thing is you see, that I don’t really want to be in that space any more. I’m tired of ‘making do’ and I’m happy to be with a man who wants to be with me. I don’t know why this is so important to me but it is. Maybe it’s years in the wilderness or maybe it’s the feeling of wasted time, I just can’t say. What I do know is I want to spend time with DM because that is so much more fulfilling than anything I’ve experienced before.

Corny clichés abound now as I claim that putting us together gives us more than just the two of us. It’s as if I am the tomato and he’s the basil. It’s as though he’s the spinach and I’m the ricotta and by putting us together the nutmeg arrives. It’s as though we’re the combination of avocado and cottage cheese, I don’t know what it is about those flavours but they just work so well together. It’s a little pot of magic.

So tonight, the sparkle comes back into my world. That little intangible bit of magic that makes the two of us more than just two people who co-habit. It makes us special.