….it’s an obsessive breath
Can you feel this beat – it’s an obsessive heartbeat
Waiting to be joined with its obsession

I close my eyes but I can’t sleep
The thin membrane can’t veil
The branded picture of you

The signs and signals show – the traffic lights say go
Again you baffle me, pretending not to see…..me

I broke into your room – I broke down in my room
Touched your belongings there and left a lock of my hair
Another sign for you

You screamed into my face, get the hell out of my place
Another sign for me? Can you forgive me?
For not understanding your ways

You know sometimes you take it all too far
Then I remember – it’s a game between you and me
A divine test for us two

It’s all in my imagination
Yes they even say that our mission…. is only
My obsession

Do you hear this breath – it’s an oppressive breath
Suffocating in the poison – of your obsession
Can you feel this beat – it’s a possessive beat
Your pulse stops in the claws – of your obsession

Obsession – Souxsie and The Banshees, A Kiss In The Dreamhouse 1982

This chilling song has always been totally realistic to me, having had an ex boyfriend ‘stalk’ me for a while (and try to suffocate me on one occasion).

It seems apt once again as our friend Ian has experienced a form of cyber-stalking in recent times. My good friend, Colin sent me a scan of a column from the Times one day last week about a young (34), affluent London banker who stalked and harassed an ordinary Southampton woman aged 50 whom he had never met because they both posted photographs on an ‘internet photography site’ (no name of the site so I don’t know if it was PBASE) and her photos got more comments than his did.

His campaign of hate started by emailing her abusive messages, then progressed to hacking into her private part of the site, changing her profile and getting her personal details so he could send emails ‘from her’ to her family and friends after he hacked into her email account.

It seems the poor woman’s only crime was to be a better photographer than him (or at least one who inspired more comment from others, not necessarily the same thing) and for this ‘crime’ she was subjected to six months of abuse, affecting both her personal and professional life. How terrifying is that?

What interests me (other than the obvious) is that this man, to all outside appearances very successful, was so insecure as to allow her popularity to become so important to him that he threw away reason and rational behaviour and ended up in jail. Surely life is too short for that? I can’t believe his job will be waiting for him after his jail term either so not only has he been to prison but he’ll probably not be able to return to the same lifestyle he had before this either.

What is more disturbing to me is that we have all ended up in each other’s mailboxes on PBASE from time to time (I had recently been having a fairly ‘intimate’ conversation on pmail and my last message was intercepted by someone else that I’ve never had contact with before and he replied – I can only assume this was by his accessing either my mailbox or the mailbox of my PBASE friend without the relevant authorisation). I think it’s time for Slug to tighten down security.

Finally, this isn’t to say I don’t welcome contact from people who like reading my diary – quite the reverse – that’s why I do it – I love getting messages from people I don’t know. If’ you’ve got something positive to say then please don’t be put off by this posting!


NB - Just to make it clear, the intrusion on my pmail was NOT just a title - someone had cut and pasted my body text into a reply - there is no way he could have known the content from the pmail title, which was completely innocuous! I have no reason to suppose this individual had any malicious intent - he's not contacted me since but he MUST have been somewhere he shouldn't have been to have seen my message.