KENNEDY NUKES "GOV. SLICK" NEWSOM'S 2028 DREAM: “You Couldn't Run a Lemonade Stand Without Turning It Into a $24 Gas Station!”
Senator John Kennedy didn’t stroll onto Hannity’s set.
He marched, clutching a crimson folder stamped “NEWSOM – THE SLICK FAILURES”.
He didn’t sit.
He unloaded like a Cajun thunderstorm.
“Gavin Newsom, ‘Gov. Slick,’ net worth $20 million.
California: 47th in education—your TikTok curriculum?
$24 gallons of gas—your Prius tax?
180,000 homeless on Skid Row—your tent-city tourism?
High-speed rail: $128 billion, zero miles—Amtrak on acid?
$68 billion deficit—your Hollywood handouts?”
Kennedy locked eyes with the camera:
“Little Marco called you out, but I’ll bury you.
You boast 2028 while California burns, taxes soar, and kids flee.
Son, you couldn’t run a lemonade stand without turning it into a $24 gas station.
Your presidential fantasy just got recalled—permanently.”
The folder slammed like a gavel.
Newsom’s exploratory committee paused 14 minutes later.
#GovSlickBuried trended #1 worldwide, 312 million posts in 90 minutes.
Kennedy’s text to reporters: “Tell Gavin the recall’s back—nationwide edition.”
The crimson folder’s locked in the Senate vault.
And 2028 just lost its slickest salesman.