My friend Christa (met on pbase years back) wondered recently if I’d ever imagined my life turning into this when, ten years ago, I was first writing this blog. I have not had time to reply to her message yet but the answer for Christa, and anyone else who is interested, is categorically “no”. No, I didn’t think I’d ever let go of the security my old job gave me, even if it did end up grinding me into dust and then spitting me out. No, I didn’t think I’d ever achieve a lifetime ambition to have the letters BSc behind my name, even though I doubt I’ll ever use the moniker. No, I NEVER, not for a single moment, ever saw myself as a teacher.

But that’s what’s so beautiful about it all. I was, let’s face it, a complete mess. I was suffering so badly from stress and depression that I didn’t spot until they punched me in the face late in 2007, knocked me to the ground and then kicked the proverbial out of me. I was, for a long time, a mental wreck. A shell of the fearless lion that had once been my reputation. Even though I always set out to be honest here, there was a great deal of anguish that I couldn’t articulate because of sensitivities at work and the manner of my departure from my employment was something I would never have imagined or wanted.

The culmination of the events of those dark days of my life led me to think about what I wanted. I threw myself into my degree because I needed to channel my energies in a positive way, even though I had a few setbacks along its course and the degree I ended up with wasn’t what I’d foreseen. Nonetheless it’s a great degree and although I was really down about its lack of door-opening-qualities in the period immediately following its end, it DID open this door and for that I will always be grateful.

This morning (and every morning since I started), I found myself outside in a playground before 9am with several hundred children, doing a dance choreographed by children. This morning happened to be Katy Perry’s “Roar”, yesterday was Bon Jovi’s “Living on a Prayer”, complete with air guitar. Yesterday I was ticked off by one of the children for missing a cue for a change of step! It’s such an exhilarating experience that it’s hard to describe and I certainly never visualised it but believe me, when you hear 400 kids and a few motley adults leaping in the air belting out “woa ho we’re half way there, woa ho living on a prayer”, it’s as good as it gets. “Wake and shake” as it’s known is the best fun you can have if you can leave your ego somewhere else for a few minutes. I LOVE it. I wish I could do it every day of every week of every year…even if I am the one dancing like a robot and singing like a banshee…

PS - I shoot the same question right back at my friend Christa - did you, when first corresponding with me, ever while living in Bristol, visualise yourself doing and seeing all that you have since your marriage and move to Utah. I am amazed every day at your beautiful photography and the experiences that you are clearly having that enable you to capture such loveliness.