I’m a bit worried about my future. I’m working really hard doing something so exciting and wonderful that I want to burst so I want to make every effort to make sure that I’m seen as “appropriate” teacher material. I’ve had to dash out and buy a load of new clothes. OK, they’re mostly from supermarkets and therefore (almost certainly) by default sweatshops in Bangladesh or somewhere similar. OK I know that breaks my code but I was desperate for stuff that was smart enough to wear in the classroom. Most of what I’ve bought probably won’t stay looking nice for long but hopefully I’ll find myself a job to start in September and then I’ll be able to replace this stuff with better quality things.

For some reason, all of the briefcases I owned disappeared during my days at my last company, somewhere in one of countless office moves so I was scrabbling around looking for something to use as a work bag and DM said I could use his bag. My heart sank when I saw it – it was an ancient “promo” computer bag with a company logo on it and it was literally falling apart. I used it for my first week but then decided that it did nothing for my “oh she’s everything we ever wanted in a newly qualified teacher” (at least I hope that is what I’ll be by then) look. I looked at the price of new ones. Expensive – even “cheap” ones were costly, not to mention ugly.

So, I resorted to my usual place when I can’t afford something I need and checked out ebay. By the time I’d discounted all of the “buy it now” new tat and all of the hideous stuff, I came across this. It’s a beautifully made, real leather quality briefcase that cost me less than 1/10th of its new price. I couldn’t believe my luck when I won the auction at a price lower than the cheap and nasty new ones. It’s worn but it’ll probably last me for the rest of my working life and part of its charm is that it looks as though I’ve owned it forever, rather than less than a week which is the truth of the matter.

I can’t tell you how beautiful it is and I still love feeling as though I look like a grown-up when I go out to “work” in the mornings. It may or may not help me to look employable but it makes me feel business-like and that’s half of the battle. I’m not going to let my future hang in the balance through want of trying. I’m doing EVERYTHING possible to look like the real deal.