So we buy a new house, and it has this pond with lots of Koy Carp. That's a nice feature we agree, but the wife doesn't like this cheap plastic Heron statue sitting by the side of the pond, that's tacky she says, and bins it. A few weeks go by, and I start noticing we have a regular early morning visitor, this beautiful real grey heron (above). Naturally I'm delighted and break out the big lens. So a few weeks go by and wifey says, where have all the fish gone!

It transpires Herons are territorial, and that "tacky" plastic statue was actually a sentinel and protector of the now devoured Koy! Only one survived, a giant we call Jaws. No one messes with Jaws, not even hungry grey herons. The pond is now restocked, and taking pride of place is a magnificently tacky plastic heron statue.