For sophisticated tourists who avoid tacky tourists traps like Juneau, Ketchikan, or Homer, Dutch Harbor is a dream come true. There are no t-shirt shops, no jewelry stores selling cheap junk, no fast food. The most exotic retailer is Safeway. There is a museum, a beautiful historic church, and the aura of the Deadliest Catch. But mostly there's muddy roads, Magone Marine, and processing plant workers schlumping around the rain in hoodies and Xtratuffs. Someday a smart guy will reopen the Elbow Room and hire local characters to stage fake brawls over snarling, hard-drinking women. A tourist bus will pull up to the famous bar and immediately a brawl will break out. After five minutes of choreographed furniture smashing and WWF wrestling moves everybody will buy an Elbow Room t-shirt. This cruise ship is The World, which left Dutch Harbor and sailed to Europe via the Northwest Passage. A first!