I don't know why I watch footie - I always think that the next game is going to be really exciting and edge-of-seat stuff, but it never is. I get bored after about two minutes and inevitably wander off and do something else instead....like the ironing or washing up or watching the hamster sleep. And this is all the more so not being of England born - I'm not quite an ABE and would be pleased if Ingerlund could actually put on an entertaining display on the pitch during this World Cup...but this offering tonight is just garbage!

Now, where's the remote?