May you live in interesting times

What an interesting week I have had.
It has had highs and lows.
Sometimes both about the same things.
Life is full of wonder and amazement.
There is always something to learn.
There is always something to do.
I'm not sure what song this is:
"There is more to see that can be seen.
More to do than can ever be done."
I do know it is true though.
So that "conversation" happened.
And I admit I found it healing.
I think it would have been no matter what.
Even if had not gone well, I would learn.
And really that is all I do sometimes.
I started this little course of action.
I got scared along the way.
However I kept the course.
This has been said many times:
Courage is being scared and still being brave.
It is not a headstrong force of will.
It is being scared and continuing the quest.
It is being honerable when you could fold.
And it is being true to yourself.
Right now I actually feel good.
I accomplished what I wanted to do.
And that is what feels good to me.
Today I grew in ways I don't know yet.
I could feel it just walking in my home.
I guess it is partly relief.
Pardon the candid honesty here.
My divorce had nothing to do with me.
Like a lot of the marriage, I was not heard.
Things I said were ignored as I said them.
And in a strange way that makes it easier.
It validated my opinion of a lot of things.
It all just comes down to the wrong person.
There isn't some great answer to come.
I had it then and I still have it now.
And I think I'm good with it.

There were lots of weird ones.
But the strangest were the compliments.
Four years ago I was kind of a loser.
I may as well have been a bum on the street.
2.5 years ago I was shit, and not good enough.
Today it seems 2.5 years ago I was great.
And 4 years ago I was wonderful.
Sure, it is just re-framing of it all.
People do that to make themselves feel better.
But I was already feeling just fine thanks.
And I remember the words spoken back then.
Words that could only exist to be hurtful.
So what I got today was what I wanted.
And all I wanted was insight.
Sure, I don't know the details.
And I also don't understand the re-framing.
But I really don't need to anymore.
All I need is to learn my lessons.
And I really think I did.
My focus is already shifting from this.
It feels resolved to me.
And that makes me smile a bit.
Have a good (and interesting) day.